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Alpha Male Relationship

A reader sent an email asking me, “Hey Ryan, what is an alpha male relationship like? What are some of the characteristics that would make an alpha male dynamic?” Great question!

People think that an alpha male is probably a player or a control freak. But this is far from the truth.

Of course, some alpha males might be misogynistic, but most of them are true gentlemen with intense masculine energy who will bring out the feminine in you.

So, how do you know you’re in an alpha male relationship? How do you deal with one? Keep reading to learn more about this topic.

What is an Alpha Male Relationship?

Before you get into a relationship, you need to know the traits of the man you’re dealing with. This will give you some understanding of the behavior you can expect from him, how he shows love, and how to deal with him.

An alpha male knows he is the leader and will ensure you understand this too. He won’t deprive you of speaking your mind or control everything you do, but he is the leader of the relationship.

In psychology, the alpha male is a dominant male, preventing other males from mating and coming near his female. Your alpha male will be territorial, protective, and confident in dating life. You might have to consider some lifestyle adjustments if you’re in a relationship with one.

An alpha male gentlemen in the gym
An alpha male gentlemen in the gym

How Does an Alpha Male Show Love in a Relationship?

People show love differently, and an alpha male will show love by showing his care and protection. Here are some ways your alpha male will show you that you’re special to him.

He Might Be Territorial

Do you realize that your man is always putting his arms around you? Does he hold your hand in public?

Without noticing it, an alpha male wants everyone to know that you are his. This doesn’t mean that he thinks of you as an object that belongs to him, but he establishes boundaries around you so everyone knows you’re taken.

An alpha in a relationship with a woman
An alpha in a relationship with a woman

He Will Take Care Of Things

An alpha male can still be in a successful relationship with a strong independent woman. But he will always make you know who’s in control.

He will ensure you’re OK, so expect calls and texts to check on you. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t trust you. Although, of course, some alpha males can be too controlling of their partners.

If you’re in trouble or he thinks you’re in danger, he will go above and beyond to ensure you’re safe. He might get into trouble trying to fix your problems, and he won’t be upset about it because he feels responsible for you.

Related: Alpha female: What is it?

He Will Be Chivalrous

A true alpha male will show you that chivalry isn’t dead. He will hold the door for you, pull out your chair, carry the bags, and ensure you receive the royal treatment.

Chivalry goes beyond public actions and manifests in how he deals with you when you’re together. He won’t lie to you or break a promise because he respects his words. Even if he says he will call you, he will or at least send a message explaining why he didn’t.

He won’t play games or send mixed signals because he has too much respect for you and the relationship and is sure about what he wants. He will also be interested in meeting your family and will try to have your parents’ approval.

As a result, he might do many things to impress your parents and siblings, and before you know it, everyone will be talking about your boyfriend.

He Might Be Too Direct

An alpha male won’t be subtle because he knows what he wants and won’t waste time playing games. Yet, he won’t embarrass you or push you.

Nevertheless, he will be direct, and to the point, so he might hit you with the ugly truth. If you’re too sensitive or like people to sugarcoat stuff because they tell you what they think, then he’s not the one for you.

An alpha male relationship can be hard at times but worth it
An alpha male relationship can be hard at times but worth it

He Might Be Hard to Understand

If the alpha male doesn’t trust you or think that you respect the relationship the way he does, he might seem closed off. It’s hard to tell what he thinks unless he wants you to.

He’s not the kind of man who will burst up and show extreme emotions in public or when you’re together. As a matter of fact, he might hide his emotions for a very long time, only to surprise you with what he feels when the time is right.

How to Deal With an Alpha Male In a Relationship

Now that you know what your man is like, it’s time to think about how you should act and react to him. You won’t be the follower in a relationship, but you must understand that he will always like to be in charge. This doesn’t mean that you’ll be silenced, but he is a man who likes to be the pack’s leader.

Many women like to be in relationships with alpha males because they’re protective, confident, and caring. But if you want your relationship to succeed, you must know how to deal with this dominant male. Here are several ways you can win your alpha male.

1. Be a Little Mysterious

You might think that an alpha male will be attracted to a weak woman, but this isn’t true. As a matter of fact, he’s more attracted to a confident, independent woman who always keeps him interested.

This is why he will love surprises, getaways, and all spontaneous actions that show that you can think and plan for yourself. If he can always expect your actions and reactions, he might lose interest and go out to find a partner who keeps his passion alive.

2. Work Towards Your Goals—Easy Alpha Male Relationship Tip to Follow!

An alpha male doesn’t want your world to revolve around him. He indeed wants to be the most important person in your life, but if you don’t have a life, to begin with, he won’t feel that special.

This is why your alpha male partner might always push you to work harder or study. He will encourage you to travel and be proud of your achievements. In a way, he thinks of your success as his and will be happy to show you off.

3. Be a Good Match

This doesn’t mean you must challenge him, but you need to match his intelligence. Alpha males are attracted to smart and witty women. He wants to be in charge but doesn’t want a follower. Instead, he wants a partner who knows how and when to take the lead if necessary.

So, if you’re sharp, keep him guessing, and outsmart him occasionally, you’ll be the perfect partner for him. He’ll quickly lose interest if you always seem lost without him.

4. Handle His Mood

Anger can be one of the negative traits of alpha males. So, if you’re in a relationship with one, you should be patient and understanding.

Alpha males can get angry when things don’t go their way. Although this might not be your fault, your partner might snap for no good reason.

Some men can also be too arrogant or pushy, especially when trying to prove they’re right. The best thing to do in this situation is to be patient and understanding. Be as calm as possible until he has calmed down. Then, you can speak your mind and say what’s bothering you.

You’ll be surprised he will listen to you because he will appreciate your waiting. He’ll probably also apologize for his behavior.

5. Show Support

An alpha male always works towards a million goals at a time, so he doesn’t want a nagging partner who would complain if he gets too busy with work or feels jealous when he doesn’t give her enough time.

Instead, be a supportive and understanding partner and show him that you care about his success. This will actually push him to go out of his way and make time for you even when he’s swamped.

It’s also important to have goals of your own, so you can connect on this level instead of having an empty life, waiting for him to make time for you.

6. Pay Attention to the Details—Easy Alpha Male Relationship Tip to Follow!

Alpha males are perfectionists and expect this level of perfectionism from their partners. In order for your relationship to succeed, you should pay attention to detail, be organized, and understand what it means to be with a man who wants to win at everything.

Your partner might set high standards for you, but this is only true because he sets high standards for himself. He isn’t the person who will let himself go or act sloppily, and you should act the same. So, always take care of your body and mind to be the woman of his dreams.

7. Be Direct

An alpha male loves the truth and has no time for games. So, if you’re not too direct, he might lose interest.

He doesn’t waste time and knows what he wants, so he might be too blunt at times. Yet, you need to be direct and to the point, if you want to be his perfect partner.

Don’t let him guess why you’re upset or give him passive-aggressive treatment. Instead, say what is bothering you and how you expect him to act. He will surprise you with how he will apologize to you or ensure you don’t get upset again.

8. Stand Up For Yourself

Your partner doesn’t want a pushover or someone with no sense of self. He wants to be dominant but wants a partner who can match him. So, if something goes wrong, you must set things right and explain how things made you feel.

Setting boundaries and telling him what you expect from the relationship can be the best way to establish and maintain a successful relationship with an alpha male. If you always say yes to everything, there’s no challenge, and he will feel that he has a follower.

An alpha male wants to please you because it makes him feel confident. So, hold your ground because this man won’t be attracted to a submissive, weak woman who begs him to take her back.

Related: Alpha male vs. beta male

Wrap Up: The Alpha Male Relationship Dynamic

The alpha male is the leader in his own world, and he will ensure you understand this if you get into a relationship with him. He isn’t always a control freak, but he might get out of control if you don’t set boundaries.

This strong man likes to take care of his woman. But he will appreciate being in a relationship with a strong independent woman who holds her ground.

You can be the perfect partner to an alpha male by understanding his good and bad traits and taking care of yourself without putting him second. He will be happy with your success and will always encourage you to work towards your goals.

Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

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