Looking for conversation starters for couples to ask? Even those dating or married can be looking to spice up a conversation. Say you’re having a date night and need to start the conversation. It’s perfectly okay to pull up this list and ask a few to get things rolling.
It’s not uncommon for the conversation to turn and go in another direction. That’s the entire point of the conversation starter! These deep conversation topics should help the two of you start to enjoy your time together.
My experience with these conversation starters…
I’m not going to sugarcoat this… I have to admit that I wasn’t the most talkative person growing up. One thing that I learned was that opening myself up and talking to new people opened more doors than I thought it would.
These questions are designed to connect you with the person you need to connect with. My best tips… Be yourself, don’t pick questions just to be liked, and keep a few of your favorites in your back pocket for random situations!
Intimate conversation starters for couples
Very intimate conversation starters for couples who need them:
- What’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever done for you?
- If you could spice up our relationship, how would you do it?
- Tell me something that’s shocked you about this relationship.
- Is there something that you’re learning about yourself through this relationship?
- How would you describe us as a couple to your friends?
- When people look at us as a couple, what do you think they say?
- Do you think that we’re currently in a healthy relationship?
- When you think of our relationship, where do you think we need to improve?
- How can I be a better partner to you going forward?
- Is there something I can do to give you more support in what you need in this relationship?
- Is there something I can do to support you in what you want to do in life?
- Have your desires in life changed at all? If so, what’s changed about them?
- How do you think we can continue to have a successful relationship together?
- What’s one embarrassing moment that you’ve never told me about?
- What’s the craziest thing that you’ve ever done with an ex? It’s okay to tell me. I won’t hold it against you!
Romantic starters for couples
Romantic conversation topics for those who are having a special night:
- What’s the best gift I ever got for you?
- Is there something that I do that makes you feel appreciated?
- Is there something that I can do to continue to make you feel appreciated?
- If you had a million dollars today, what would you do with it?
- Do you think that we spend our time appropriately? Should we be doing something else with our time?
- Are you happy with your daily life? Should we change anything?
- What’s your favorite memory of us when we first started dating?
- What’s the most embarrassing thing that you’ve seen me do?
- If you had to say that I made a mistake, what was my biggest mistake?
- Are you happy with the way that your life story is unfolding? Would you change anything about it?
- What’s your favorite gift that I’ve ever got for you?
- Is there something odd that I do when I fall asleep every night?
- What’s the best quality of our relationship?
- Do you remember our first date? Did you enjoy it?
Related: Weird conversation starters
Deep Q’s and starters for couples
Very deep conversation topics for those who want an emotional and intellectual conversation with each other:
- Are we teaching our children good values through our relationship?
- Is there something that we can do to be better citizens for society?
- Can we get more involved in our community?
- Are we balancing everything that we need to be? Friendship, spirituality, life, and more?
- How did your family express love to you when you were young?
- Do you think it’s important for married couples to have separate bank accounts? Is it weird if they do?
- What was the first word that came to mind when you met me?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- Which family member have you been talking to the most recently?
- Do you think that we should both be making more money?
Conversation topics for married couples
Even married couples need to remember to have a deep conversation every so often. Here are ways to do that:
- If you could have a hall pass one-night stand with any celebrity, who would it be and why?
- What’s your biggest regret in life so far?
- Is there a deal breaker that you decided to overlook because you really liked me?
- You could have lunch with any famous person (living or not living), who would it be and why?
- Are you starting a bucket list? If so, is there anything that you’ve added to it?
- Do you think your family members are happy with the way our relationship is going?
- What’s the best advice that you’ve got recently?
- What’s one of the worst things that I’ve ever said to you? Something that hurt your feelings, so I can learn more it and never make that mistake again.
Texting Q’s and starters for couples
When you haven’t heard from your special someone in a little while:
- What’s that weird smell in the kitchen?
- What’s the most embarrassing moment as a couple?
- Are you glad that we’re in a long-term relationship?
- Do we have enough intimate conversations or should we try to improve this in our relationship?
- Where do you think we can improve our relationship to make it have a deeper connection?
- Is there anything that I can do for you today to help you or make your life easier?
- If you could be any fictional character in a recent TV show, who would it be and why?
- Do you think that your past relationships taught you more about yourself?
- What’re you up to today?
- Is there something fun that you’d like to do today?
- What music are you listening to right now?
- Is there a TV show that you’re watching without me?
- Which movie would you want to turn on right now?
Expert advice: The Grant Study, published by Harvard University in 1938 stands as the skyscraper of research studies pertaining to health and love. The study took a hard look at men and women. In particular, showing that love (both in upbringing and current life) has a strong impact on someone’s success. The study showed they were more likely to make more money, contribute to society, and generally have stronger mental health.
Good questions and starters for couples
Good old-fashioned conversation topics for two people:
- How important is a sex life in a relationship?
- Do we have enough meaningful conversations? Or should we try to have more?
- Do you still talk to your best friend from high school?
- When was the last time that you thought of yourself in a positive light?
- When was the last time that you did something to treat yourself?
- Is there a moment when you really felt like you were giving yourself good self-care?
- Do you think that we make a good match?
- What’s one of your favorite memories of us as a couple?
- Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding?
- What’s your biggest fear that has recently popped its head up again for you?
- When was the last time that you felt disappointed in me?
- Do you think our family members are happy with the way that we treat each other?
- How can we create more trust in our relationship?
- Is there a way that we can create a more meaningful connection between the two of us?
- If we lost all of our possessions tomorrow, would we stay together?
- What size ring should we get when we start thinking about marriage?
Expert advice: A recent Harvard study showed that men and women who continue to share their aspirations in life (whether they are changing or staying the same), have a greater likelihood of long-lasting relationships. Richard Schwartz, associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School (HMS) and a consultant to McLean and Massachusetts General (MGH) hospitals suggests that love does seem to have a strong impact on hormone and immune levels. All pointing at the significance of communication in relationships/couplehood.
Best topic starters for couples
The very best conversation topics for couples who need it:
- Do we have enough physical intimacy, or should we be trying to have more?
- Would you say that I have good communication skills when it comes to our relationship?
- Would you say that we are also best friends and not just a couple?
- Do we spend time doing the right things together?
- Who is someone that you feel comfortable talking to about anything?
- Should we be trying to make friends with a married couple?
- Who would it be if there was another couple just like us?
- Is there another couple that we should be hanging out with more?
- What would you do and why if you had to spend this week alone?
- Do you like to take baths?
- What does your ideal romantic night look like to you?
- What’s your ideal Saturday night look like to you right now?
- What does your ideal Sunday night look like to you right now?
- Are you happy at work?
- Has anything interesting happened at work that I should know about?
Funny ones for couples
Have a laugh with these funny conversation topics:
- Is there a bad habit that I have that you wish I didn’t have?
- Is there a time that you lied to me just to make me feel better?
- What was the last “white lie” that you told me?
- When was the last time that I had really bad breath?
- Do I have bad breath in the morning when I wake up?
- If you had to describe your last relationship in a few words, which words would you use?
- If this is a love story, do you think it would be a comedy or a drama?
- If there is one moment that you replay in your mind, regarding our relationship, which moment is it?
- Are there any hobbies that you think I should get?
- Do I spend too much time at home? Do you think that I should get out more?
- What’s your favorite thing about waking up next to me?
Random convo starters for couples
Sometimes a random question can spark up an interesting moment. Try these questions:
- Should we go grocery shopping together soon?
- Will you watch TV with me on Sunday?
- Do we need to find a new TV show to binge-watch together?
- Who is going to pay the bills this month?
- Should we kiss more, or are you happy with how much we do?
- How can I make our bed more comfortable for you?
- Is there a food that I can get you to make you happy?
- If I go to the gas station, what do you want me to get you?
- You’re stuck on a desert island; what are three items you will bring to ensure you have a good life?
- How would you get out of an escape room you can’t escape?
- When was the last time that you felt really stuck in life?
- Where do you see this relationship going long-term?
- Should I be texting you more in the morning or at night?
- What are words of affirmation that I say that really make you feel good?
- What do you think your love language is?
- Do you think that we have the same love language?
Sexual topic starters for couples to use
Spicy and sexual conversation questions for couples:
- Should we be increasing the amount of time that we’re intimate?
- Are you happy with the way that I perform in the bedroom?
- Is there something that I can do to make you happy tonight?
- Should we be using toys in the bedroom or are you happy with what we do?
- How would you describe our sex life to your best friend?
- Do you tell your friends about our intimate moments? If you do, are they positive or negative comments?
- What fantasy have you been having recently and haven’t told me about?
- Is there something that turns you on that I should know about?
- Do you ever find yourself drifting off at work, daydreaming about us?
- Do you like dirty talk in the bedroom?
- Should we use blindfolds in the bedroom tonight?
- Is there something that you would do that you’ve never told me you would do?
- Do you have any odd fantasies that you’re embarrassed to share with me?
- If you had to make our sex life into emojis, which ones would they be and why?
- Is there something that I wear that really turns you on?
- Is there ever something that I wear that doesn’t turn you on?
Juicy ones for couples to use!
Very juicy conversation starters for cute couples:
- What new hobbies should we get into as a couple?
- How can we connect on a deeper level together as a couple?
- When was the last time that you felt truly proud of me?
- Do you think that I’m charitable? Should I do more for our community and the people around us?
- How do you feel when I hold your hand?
- Is there a place where I touch you that makes you feel tingles?
- What is something that I do that always turns you on?
- Do you ever randomly think about me at work and then get turned on?
- If we were in a new relationship right now, what advice would you give to our past selves?
- How can we improve the way that we perform in the bedroom?
- When was the last time that I told you that you looked really good?
- When was the last time that I mentioned how attractive you are to me?
- What do you think our core values are as a couple?
Date night ones for couples—hubba, hubba!
Having a date night? No perfect way to begin the night than with a question or two:
- Do we go on enough date nights?
- What’s your favorite meal for us to eat whenever we go out?
- Are there any new restaurants in the area that we should check out together?
- Is there a place that you’ve been wanting to visit, but haven’t told me about?
- Is there something that you’ve been wanting to do, but haven’t told me about?
- What’s a story from your childhood that you haven’t told me yet?
- Is there something very defining from your childhood that you always think about?
- How would you describe the years when you were growing up?
- How many homes did you live in when you were growing up?
- Is there something that I do that annoys you?
- Did you ever have an allergy growing up that you never told me about?
- What was your week like? Did you have a good week?
- Is there any way that I could have supported you more this week?
Fun questions for couples to use!
Old fashioned and fun questions for couples to ask each other:
- Who is someone that you’ve recently been looking up to?
- Do you feel like you’re staying in touch with your spiritual side?
- Can you see this relationship going the distance?
- What do you think our children will look like?
- What should we name our children?
- What’s something that we should be aware of as we start to think about becoming parents?
- Are you worried about anything that you haven’t told me about?
- Is there something that’s been on your mind, but you haven’t been wanting to tell me?
- What’s something that you haven’t told me yet?
- Is there something from your past that you’re really unhappy about?
- If you could go back in time and change one thing about history, what would it be and why?
- What’s your favorite meal to make when cooking at home?
- Do you think that we have enough deep conversations? Should we be trying to create a deeper connection together?
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.