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What is a Dominant Male? Are You One?

My friend Brian asked me the other night, “Hey Ryan, do you think I’m a dominant male? Like, how would you describe a guy who is dominant?” I mean, the question certainly made me chuckle at first. But the reality is that he has every right to know… And here’s what you should know about it all!

If we’re strictly talking about men in the work field, in a relationship, or just someone we would want to look up to as a leader, we tend to prefer a dominant male rather than the opposite.

However, have you considered why this may be the case for most of us, including you? Admit it, even the aura is different when encountering a genuinely admirable dominant male.

It might be because they possess a strong sense of self, determination, and resilience to achieve something and are filled with oozing confidence. Or it could be as simple as how they generally speak to people or have an entirely menacing (the good kind) walk or stride; their presence is felt whenever they enter a room.

Not to anyone’s surprise, the alpha personality trait works perfectly in leading, shines above the rest in the workplace, and is exceptionally well-placed in sports. Even in the dating scenario, a woman would most likely be sexually attracted to or choose a dominant male rather than a submissive one.

It isn’t rocket science to understand that a dominant male would likely protect their partner, on top of other reasons. 

While most men get the wrong idea of how a dominant male should be and take on the negative traits associated with a dominant male, if you’re here to learn how to be more dominant, the positive kind, you’re in the right place!

Read on to learn more about this personality trait and how you can work on being a more positive dominant male in every aspect of life.

Dominant male figures often present themselves as strong... Whether this is just a show or not.
Dominant male figures often present themselves as strong… Whether this is just a show or not.

Common Signs that Determine If You’re A Dominant Male

—Signs you’re a dominant male

You Exert Self Discipline And Control

Great traits found in dominant males are self-discipline and control. He is not a lackey to his goals or hunger; rather has the discipline and controls his mind and body to the point where it brings him complete happiness and abundant success.

He knows it is important to keep everything in moderation when striving for that one goal he truly desires in every aspect of life.

You Despise Bullies

Something that will never sit right with a dominant male is people who pick on the less fortunate or weaker than them. He has observed and learned that these people usually act out on their insecurities and will always be losers.

He will stand up for them but accordingly will not resort to violence since it will bring him down to their level, but calmly assess the situation and solve it peacefully. 

You Know When To Say No

A dominant male is confident in himself and his relationships to the point where no one has the power to persuade, manipulate, or pressure him into something he is not comfortable doing. 

We don’t mean he should not consider the request that has been made, but unlike the regular male, a dominant male would think and consider each request and dish out a clear respectable answer.

He is not a man that sacrifices his time and commitments that would benefit him for someone’s pleasure.

You Are An Example To Others

A dominant male radiates energy and confidence that people usually feed off of. Whether in the workplace or his personal life, when he enters a room, people feel secure, safe, and confident and place their hopes in him.

However, he’s humble enough to know he isn’t perfect and strives to learn from others daily. A dominant male will always help where he is needed, and his humility and wisdom are why people strive to be or look up to him. 

You Are A Risk Taker

Instead of letting people take risks, a dominant male is always gung ho for any challenges and adversities that life or people throws in his path. He is never afraid to fail and will face these challenges head-on without any fear if it means he’s closer to the goal at hand. 

This could be a new challenge at work or a personal love interest. Rather than cower from failure or fear, he’d rather try, fail, learn, and get up when he’s down. He knows that humiliation is part of life and strives to improve daily.

A dominant male is typically an overachiever.
A dominant male is typically an overachiever.

You Always Speak With Confidence

A dominant male will always make his speech with confidence, clarity, and extreme calmness, regardless of whoever’s in the room. People do not faze him and will construct his sentence in a way that is straight to the point. 

Each word is perfectly thought out, and the way he speaks, using various techniques like short pauses, clear expressions, and asking questions, is perfectly suited to amuse and impress the people listening or targeted.

He asks people questions in a way that’s not in the slightest bit intimidating but rather in a persuasive manner that often people line up to answer his thought-out inquiries. 

See also: List of insecurities

You Have It Figured Out

A dominant male always has his ambitions and goals sorted out and strives to achieve them by learning everything necessary to achieve them daily. Once he finds his purpose in life, he will do everything he can to get it, but without taking advantage of anyone.

He knows he needs to learn from people and will ask for help along the way. But what differentiates a dominant male from a regular Joe is that he never takes advantage of the people that help him and pay them back accordingly. 

A dominant male knows that being grateful and expressing it by helping people back for the favor is the way of life.

A driven male is the better version of a dominant male.
A driven male is the better version of a dominant male.

You Have Mastered The Art Of Body Language 

Body language is a good way to know what someone is feeling, or it can make people feel more comfortable around you. A dominant male is a master of body language and uses it to let people feel secure and express emotions that may calm a room without uttering a single word.

  • You have a great posture– A dominant male carries himself with a great posture that makes him look extremely confident and shows that he has respect for the people in the room.
  • You have a smile that people perceive as confident- A dominant male will always have a confident smile that may be extremely encouraging and motivate the people near him.
  • You have the confident walk- A dominant male has that confident walk that radiates positive energy, oozing with confidence, making people feel the need to look up to him. 
  • You have a firm handshake- A dominant male has that firm handshake that makes people know he’s positively assertive and open-minded about anything that comes his way.

See also: Signs he likes you but is playing it cool

You Do Not Complain

Unlike a regular Joe, a dominant male welcomes failures in his work and life and never complains when life gives them lemons. Instead, they would rather work on it and plan effectively how to avoid repeating the same mistakes.

He would also rather take on the blame for the failure rather than dishing it out on someone else. The can-do attitude or spirit he rocks with helps him get closer to his goals one step at a time. 

At the same time, he will also encourage and expect the people around him to work on themselves in case of failures and hardships. 

You Are Patient But Persistent 

While self-control, discipline, and patience are some of the greatest attributes that a dominant male has, it’s his persistent nature that keeps him above others. Mere obstacles will not weaken him but encourage him to attempt his greatest feats. 

He knows that, unlike instant gratification, the long struggle and achievement are unlike any other sensation, and he will get there no matter what comes or what life throws at him. 

Expert advice: Many people consider “dominance” a form of leadership. And equate dominance with leaders. This isn’t exactly true. In fact, leadership can be taught… Jill Channing from East Tennessee State University uncovers that leadership is a skill that can be taught and learned. More than 86% of her study showed signs that they felt their new leadership skills could be retaught.

You Know You’re Not Perfect, So You Put In The Work

A dominant male will always admit to himself that he is not perfect and does not have everything in life sorted out. People follow him not because he is well educated or has wisdom in every aspect of life but rather they follow him because he’s always striving to be a better version of himself.

In addition, he is clear in his leadership and doesn’t expect people to not make mistakes in their line of work. A dominant male also does not compare himself to others and works hard to gain the trust and respect of those around him.

He is always grateful for the people that help him and have enough humility to accept that they are wrong and will strive to correct it.

Why Do Most Women Prefer A Dominant Male?

Many women prefer a dominant male for higher success in healthy relationships in the long run and happiness altogether, instead of a submissive one. However, in any case, women do not want a dominant male to dominate them completely but rather want the good qualities that come with a dominant male. 

Here are some reasons why you, as a dominant male, may be sexually attractive to women.

It’s The Confidence 

Confidence is one of the most attractive traits in any gender, and a dominant male clearly has more of it than anyone else on the planet. The confidence lets women know he is capable enough to strive for what he wants and is relentless until he gets it.

Women would usually choose someone who knows what he wants, who they are, and what their end goal is rather than someone oblivious and can’t think for himself.

See also: Beta male definition

Dominant Males Usually Are Great Providers 

As we explained earlier, a dominant male is someone who is a leader who knows his way around his goals and strives relentlessly until he achieves them. 

As such, some women want to be cared for and provided for, and a dominant male might be the perfect partner since they have more chances of being financially successful than a submissive male. 

However, in today’s generation, women can provide for themselves. If they have their eyes on a dominant male, it’s not solely for the financial aid but rather their qualities of being a great role model to people around them. 

Expert advice: Sometimes, even an alpha male isn’t going to feel like the strongest alpha. Research studies have shown there are typically three types of males: alpha, beta, and gamma males. More recent studies have also shown that there’s a “rise” of the beta male.

Authoritative Nature Of Dominant Male Makes Women Feel Safe

Regardless of gender, everyone deserves to feel safe and protected. However, most women are into the dominant male because of their protective traits. Since it assures them that he will stand up for them no matter the challenges… which makes them highly attracted to him. 

See also: What does it mean to be a beta male?

Dominant Males Are Perceived As Fun

Outspoken and outgoing are the traits of a dominant male, and these traits can be applied in the bedroom or public… keeping the relationship more fun and enjoyable. 

The willingness makes a dominant male highly attractive to some women.

See also: Beta male provider

Dominant Males Tend To Take Charge

Whether in the bedroom, on a date, in the workplace, or any place you can think of, a dominant male has a natural leadership quality that most women find extremely sexy and attractive. 

This quality or trait also ensures women that he’s a man of action and not just words… planting trust and expectations of them in a positive way.

See also: Alpha male versus beta male

Some Women Are Submissive By Nature

Even in today’s modern world, where society has changed the concept of gender roles, where women are breadwinners and independent… some women still prefer an authoritarian man who plays the role of the head of the household.

These women search for a dominant male who takes charge of every aspect of their relationships. And leads them along the way while they remain the sole supporter of their mates.

They find this the ideal structure of how a relationship should be and work, and it keeps them happy. On the other hand, some women are sexually submissive by nature and are attracted to dominant males. 

Since sexual attraction and intimacy can be one of the biggest factors in deciding what type of men these women want… the dominant and submissive traits are ideal for a healthy relationship.

These traits don’t necessarily have to be strictly in the bedroom but outside of it as well. Submissive women usually are not attracted to submissive males but rather the dominant ones.

Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

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