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First Date Conversation Starters

Looking for first-date conversation starters? It might be challenging to have an interesting first-date conversation. In many situations, you are conversing with a stranger about whom you know very little, but you simultaneously want to impress them and attempt to gauge your compatibility. Several things are going on at once!

First Date Conversation Starters For A Girl:

You shouldn’t feel embarrassed to start the conversation as soon as the first date begins. Once you’ve built up some rapport, deeper conversations will flow more naturally.

Start A Casual Conversation:

Start with a conversation that is informal and relevant. Try to strike up a brief, informal chat depending on the situation when you first go on a date. Ask your date whether he has been here before, how he became familiar with the location, and what he likes about it, for instance, if he chose the restaurant you are at.

Ask About Work:

On a first date, if you want to learn more about one another after a while, you can start talking about yourself and providing some information. But to prevent it from becoming a monologue, remember to pause sometimes, ask the other person a question, and pay attention to their response.

Sample Questions:

—First date conversation starters to use

1. Where are you from?

2. Why did you move to where you now live?

3. Where did you study, and what did you study?

4. What is your profession?

5. What are your hobbies?

6. Do you like what you do?

7. What do you like/dislike about it?

8. Do you enjoy working with your colleagues?

9. Do you have any weird habits?

10. Have you always wanted to do this kind of work?

11. Where do you see yourself in the future?

12. If you could get any job in the World, what would it be?

13. If money wasn’t an issue, how would you spend your days?

14. What kind of music do you listen to?

15. Who do you like more: cats or dogs?

16. What kind of movies do you like: family, comedies, thrillers, or series?

17. What is your favorite food or dish?

18. What breed is your cat/dog? 

19. At what age did you start doing art? What or who influenced it?

20. Where do you plan to spend your next vacation, and what are your plans?

21. Do you like cultural holidays or beach holidays?

22. What are your life goals and dreams?

23. What are your hobbies?

24. What do you want to achieve in life?

25. Do you like dancing?

26. When was the last time you laughed so hard that you cried?

27. What do you think your life will be like in ten years?

28. What is the greatest accomplishment in your life, and what are you most proud of?

29. What places have you traveled to?

30. What country do you dream of discovering?

31. What do you do with your free time?

32. Do you have a passion?

33. Do you have a phobia?

34. What is your favorite book?

35. What is your favorite movie?

36. What is your favorite series?

37. What style of music do you listen to?

38. Do you practice a sport?

39. If you could be a woman for a day what would you do?

40. What style of clothing do you try most?

Expert advice: While it may sound odd, studies have found that we are more attracted to people who have more mimicry in their behavior. Mirroring, which is the act of behaving and showing body language similar to the other person, is an effective technique to use on first dates.

First Date Conversation Starters For A Guy:

On the first date, always shake hands and make eye contact more frequently. Also, smile warmly and in a pleasant manner rather than a businesslike manner. Pay close attention to your interlocutor’s tone and body language. When you first meet, a small amount of closeness can put you both at ease and create a welcoming atmosphere for the rest of your interactions.

Choose The Right Tone:

Choose the appropriate tone before starting the conversation. No matter who you’re going on a date with, whether it’s someone you’ve known for a while, someone you just met, or it is a blind date, the conversation’s opening lines will determine how the rest of the evening will go.

Notice Small Details and Ask About Your Date:

Instead of considering your next move after they stop talking, concentrate on comprehending what they are saying and how they feel. Then provide a remark confirming what you observe and hear in them. When people pay close attention to how they are perceived, heard, observed, and expressed, it helps them open up more.

Sample Questions:

—First date conversation starters to use

41. What attracts you to work?

42. What does not excite you about your career?

43. What are their dreams for the future?

44. What did they want to be as a child?

45. What sports do you like to practice or play?

46. What is your favorite school subject?

47. What makes you angry?

48. What food do you hate?

49. What was your best trip?

50. What is your favorite meal of the day?

51. Give five words to describe yourself.

52. What compliment stood out to you the most?

53. What movie do you watch most often?

54. Do you have a bucket list?

55. What are you looking for in love?

56. Name one thing you like about yourself.

57. What would you be able to eat without getting bored?

58. Are you sweet or salty?

59. What recipe do you make to impress your guests?

60. What superpower would you like to have? Invisibility or flying?

61. Do you have a hidden talent?

62. What is the nicest thing someone has done for you?

63. What is your dream travel destination?

64. What is your most important goal right now?

65. What is your favorite activity and why?

66. What quality do you think is the most important in a man/woman?

67. How would you describe a perfect day?

68. What is your favorite movie and why?

69. What do your friends call you and why?

70. What are you sensitive to in a man/woman?

71. What are you most proud of?

72. Who is most important to you?

73. What is the thing you like the most in your current life?

74. What makes you happy daily?

75. Who is the person you admire the most?

76. If you could be a celebrity, who would you choose?

77. If you had to choose a favorite dish to eat every day, what would you choose?

78. What would you do if you won a million dollars right now?

79. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done in your life?

80. What would you do if you had 24 hours left to live?

Expert advice: A study from Purdue University has suggested that our “sweet taste buds” can have an effect on our short-term happiness, causing us to feel a stronger attraction to those around us. What does this mean for first dates? Don’t skip the sweets!

Get To Know Your First Date Conversation Starters:

Find a balance between how much you talk and how much you listen to get passed the initial rush. If you feel a little nervous or uneasy during the first few minutes of a first date, do not worry about it. You can overcome the uneasiness of the first few minutes by engaging in trivial chat, allowing you to create eye contact and pay attention to the dialogue.

Ask how their day or week went:

Although this question may appear formulaic, you should not interpret it that way. When people discuss how their day or week went, they typically include a few issues currently affecting them.

Sample Questions:

—First date conversation starters to use

81. Well, how was your day?

82. What did you do this week?

83. We have already talked about a lot, but I would like to ask a more personal question regarding your view of our relationship. Are you ready to answer it? What are you looking for in a relationship?

84. What do you expect from your partner?

85. How would you describe a good relationship?

86. What was the longest of your relationships?

87. Do you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl?

88. Do you have nicknames? And what is the origin story?

89. How many sisters or brothers do you have?

90. What are some cities or countries you would never go to but travel to for your dream job?

91. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions?

92. What is the job you could never do?

93. What would be a good night out for you?

94. If you could reincarnate as someone, who would you choose?

95. When is your birthday?

96. Do you have or would you like to have children?

97. What was the happiest period of your life?

98. What was the most challenging period of your life?

99. What do you want to bring into this world?

100. Have you ever been in love?

101. How would you describe the ideal romantic relationship?

102. What qualities do you look for in a partner?

103. What flaws turn you off in a partner?

104. What character trait is essential to create a beautiful romantic relationship?

105. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for love?

Deep First Date Conversation Starters:

Talk about what is going on with you. Likewise, bring up topics that currently concern you. Bring your complete, messy, imperfect self to dates.

Ask Them What They Have Been Up To Lately:

Talking about work won’t fire everyone up, and people are much more than their position. So look for a way to ask about other ways people like to spend their time.

Ask How The Last Few Years Have Affected Them:

When you feel that enough trust has been established between you, you can start asking questions that touch on deeper topics. For example, ask how they felt in the last few years after world events entered their lives. Most people are affected by this, at least to some extent, so you can almost certainly move on to more personal matters.

Find Out About Family:

In terms of digging deeper, asking about your loved one’s family can be a way to strip away all the layers and learn more about their past and why they are the way they are.

Ask What They Want From A Date Right Now:

Last but not least, it’s logical to ask about each other’s goals and intentions if you are going on a date. You want to ensure you are on the same page about what you are both looking for, whether it’s something casual, serious, or some other type of relationship.

Sample Questions:

106. Are you close to your family?

107. What is your relationship with your parents?

108. Do you have brothers and sisters?

109. Are you an older/younger/middle child?

110. What was your childhood like?

111. Did you like the place where you grew up?

112. What would a perfect day be for you?

113. What is the thing you are most grateful for in life?

114. What one attribute or talent would you like to have if you could wake up tomorrow with it?

115. What is most important to you in friendship?

116. What is your most precious memory?

117. What is your most terrible memory?

118. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?

119. What are your phobias?

120. What’s the most annoying question a guy has asked you on a date?

121. Which member of your family do you get along best with?

122. How would the writer describe you If you were a character in a book?

123. For you, what is an ideal Sunday?

124. What makes you hesitate the most?

125. What is one thing you would like to do, but haven’t found the courage to do yet?

126. If you could describe your life in three words, what would it be?

127. How do you spend your free time?

128. What is the word that best describes you?

129. What do you dislike the most about being single?

130. What’s your worst Tinder experience?

131. What are your habits?

134. What annoys you the most?

135. Rather Netflix & Chill or a big party?

136. What is your favorite activity to do alone?

137. What is your evening ritual?

138. Do you have a large social circle?

139. What do you hate about first dates?

140. Do you get attached easily?

141. Were you popular in high school or college?

142. What is your favorite vacation spot?

143. If you could live in any other city, what would it be?

144. If you could go back to any time, what would it be?

145. If you were an animal, what would you be?

146. What do you think is the greatest life lesson a person can learn?

147. What is the best advice you have received?

148. What do you think of people who take everything for granted?

149. What is the last book you read?

150. What is one thing you have always wanted to try?

151. What is the thing you would save first if your house or apartment was on fire?

152. According to you, what is your greatest strength or quality?

153. What is your biggest pet peeve?

154. What is the craziest scene or event you have witnessed?

155. So what are you looking for in dating these days?

156. What brought you to dating apps?

157. I usually prefer not to rush things until I know someone. And you?

158. What do you think is the biggest mistake a man makes when he is in a relationship?

159. Do you think that the man, once in a relationship, becomes macho or affectionate?

160. What are your expectations regarding life as a couple?

161. Have you ever gone out with a man who was a real challenge for you?

162. What do you think are the things that men don’t understand about women?

163. Has a man ever broken your heart?

164. How long have you been single?

165. What are the pillars of a romantic relationship for you?

166. What first impression did you have of me?

167. What do you like most about me?

168. What’s the worst excuse you’ve ever given to get out of date?

169. Do you easily lose your means in front of someone you like?

170. What do you think is true that most people don’t believe?

171. Is there one thing that few people know about you?

172. Is there anything you would like to know about me?

173. What do you find very amusing but most people do not find amusing?

174. What do you think you have in common with me?

175. What is your funny dating story?

Related: First date conversation starters for teens

Funny First Date Conversation Starters:

A good sense of humor makes you a desirable conversationalist. The study proved what people with a completely ordinary appearance have always hoped for: you do not have to look like a model or be perfect for people to want to communicate with you. Just show your sense of humor and make them laugh. This is enough to make them feel comfortable in your company. As a result, people will like you and enjoy spending time in your company.

Sample Questions:

176. What makes you laugh every time?

177. If you had to stick to one food for a month, which would you choose?

178. What series could you star in? Which character(s) best sums you up?

179. Tell me about the worst date of your life.

180. What is the best and worst compliment you have ever received?

181. What is the activity for which your friends know that they should not call you, in which field are you the most “dumb”?

182. What would it be if you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or skill?

183. What is the craziest thing you have done?

184. Funny dilemmas: rather have a nose like Pinocchio or ears like Dumbo?

185. If you could have dinner with anyone who lives on this earth, who would you invite?

186. What would it be if you could jump into a pool filled with something?

187. What is the weirdest nickname of you?

188. What is your favorite joke?

189. Do you think fish can get thirsty?

190. What is the first thing you would do if you were a man for a day?

191. What would you do if you won the lottery?

192. What is the dirtiest food you have ever eaten?

193. What was the funniest moment of your life?

194. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal or something?

195. Have you ever winked at yourself in the mirror?

196. If you could make one wish, what would you ask for?

197. If you could have any magic power, what would you want?

198. If you were to go to a desert island, what three items would you take with you?

199. What is your favorite childhood memory?

200. What is in your fridge right now?

First Date Conversation Starters For Teenagers:

Talking about frivolous and optimistic topics in the first few minutes is better. Talk and ask about things that are of interest to both of you. Do not be too serious, and do not complain or talk about unpleasant things and bad news.

Sample Questions:

201. What did you think when you first saw me?

202. What was the first thing that came to your mind when you saw me?

203. What do you think the ideal guy should be?

204. What would you do if tomorrow was the last day of your life?

205. What would you be like if you were a man for one day?

206. What would you spend a million dollars on if you won them in the lottery?

207. Would you like to have one of the animals at home?

208. What is at the top of your wish list?

209. What dish do you like to make at home?

210. What are the most vivid impressions you experienced in your life?

211. What is your favorite movie that influenced your worldview?

212 Shall we hold our next meeting on the roof of my house? Is there a great view of the city, especially in the evening?

213. What is important for you to see in your man?

214. What do you feel when you achieve something?

215. Where did you grow up?

216. Where do you see yourself in five years?

217. What school did you go to, and what were the most memorable teachers there?

218. What is your biggest achievement?

219. Have you gone on hikes with friends, climbed a mountain, ran away from a bear, or had a nightly picnic in the forest?

220. Where would you like to visit and why?

221. With whom do you usually relax and walk in this city? Tell me about your friends.

222. Why do you think men lose to rude guys who hurt their women?

223. Have you had any interesting, unusual stories?

224. Do you hang out with classmates?

225. Do you prefer an active or quiet, relaxing holiday?

226. Do you love nature and beautiful places?

227. What are the best ones you have been to?

228. Did you have any old dreams?

229. Have you been to any amusing cities or countries?

230. What kind of vacation do you like (clubs, restaurants, nature, travel)?

231. What will you never stop doing in your life?

232. What three wishes would you make for a goldfish?

233. Do you have a hidden talent or skill?

234. Do you have pets?

235. How do you keep in good physical shape? How many times a week do you go to the fitness club?

236. What kind of music do you like to dance to?

237. What musical style are you interested in and why?

238. Did you go to any classes as a child?

239. What did you want to be as a child?

240. What do you like to do?

241. What concert did you last go to? Which one would you like to visit in the future?

242. What games did you play in childhood and when you learned to ride a bike or swim?

243. Have you been to a concert by your favorite artist?

244. What do you do in your free time?

245. Is there anything you would like to do but have not gotten around to yet?

246. What is your most poignant or scariest memory?

247. Do you like to sleep long, or do you get up early?

248. What qualities should your man have?

249. What writers are you interested in, and what book have you recently read?

250. Have you ever swam under the open sky at night? Do you like to look at the stars?

251. How did you know you wanted to stay in this country?

252. What’s your go to funny story to share?

253. How do you make small talk with friends?

254. Would you be willing to go on a second date?

255. Who’s the most bizarre person you know?

256. What’s the strangest phone conversation you’ve ever had?

257. Who is your best friend?

258. How many family members do you have?

259. Are you a cat person or a dog person?

260. Who is the most influential person you know?

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Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

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