Home / Relationships /

Good Qualities in a Person

I had someone email in the other day and ask, “Ryan, what are some good qualities in a person that I should be looking for?” Great question!

While you should always be yourself, there’s no harm in improving your life by adopting new qualities. Certain personality aspects can also help you gain confidence and improve your mental well-being. In addition, having these characteristics might help advance your social and professional life.

Intelligence, honesty, and self-assurance are some of the best qualities you can have. However, you should also make sure to stay humble, maintain your privacy, and take accountability whenever possible.

There are also some traits you might benefit from having, depending on whether you’re a girl or a guy. Owing to the fact that some qualities better complement masculine or feminine personalities.

Do you want to find out more? In this article, we’ve listed some good qualities in a person, as well as the best traits for boys and girls.

First, My Experience with Finding Good Qualities in a Person…

I’ve been around some not-so-great people. They’ve had a really negative impact on my life. And I must admit, I kept them around longer than I should have. By doing this, I caused myself a lot of pain and suffering that I could have avoided.

That’s why these qualities are so important. By knowing which qualities to look for in a person, I am now able to filter who I should and should not give my energy to. And I hope that it can do the same for you. Protect yourself, set healthy boundaries, and develop meaningful relationships with people who care about you.

8 Good Qualities in a Person

—Good qualities in a person

There are specific personality aspects that all leaders and well-respected individuals share. You might have a couple of these characteristics as well!

Good traits in people are those that make them trustworthy, comforting, and noble. It isn’t just about being well-liked by everyone.

So, here are some qualities that great people have:

1. Intelligence—Always a Good Quality in a Person

Undoubtedly, intelligence is one of the best traits you can have. A high IQ is something to brag about and will surely impress everyone.

Intelligence gets you so far in life. Clever people are more likely to advance in school. Then, being well-educated will help you land a high-earning job and respect from your peers.

Additionally, having enough social intelligence means you’ll be able to conduct yourself around different groups of people. Your brain is what makes you popular and well-liked!

You might think intelligence is an innate quality. Yet, you can actually train your brain to become more clever.

Studies show that if you frequently practice intense problem-solving and creativity, you’ll boost your IQ by up to ten points. So, keep studying, reading, and thinking to become as bright as ever!

2. Compassion

Now that we’ve covered intellect, it’s crucial to mention emotions. After all, no one likes a heartless know-it-all!

Compassion is a form of intelligence, particularly emotional intelligence. To be compassionate, you have to be able to read other people’s emotions and relate to them.

Compassionate people make ideal friends because they’re kind and great to have around. Understanding and caring for others will help people open up to you, promoting meaningful connections.

That said, compassion isn’t just essential for your personal and social life, but you might also advance professionally due to your gentle personality.

For this reason, always put yourself in other people’s shoes and accept them for who they are. You should also speak kindly, apologize for your mistakes, and carry yourself with grace and positivity!

3. Honesty—The Best Quality to Look for in a Person

Honesty is the foundation for any healthy friendship or relationship. It’s the only way for people to trust and connect with you.

It’s a common misconception that you should be deceitful, so people wouldn’t take advantage of you. Yet, there’s a vast difference between privacy and lying.

In fact, you need honesty as a basis for any other good quality you have. That’s because if you’re dishonest, people can never be certain if your positive traits are genuine or if it’s all an act!

Sure, you might want to impress your peers by exaggerating a story. Though, you should keep in mind that if you get caught in a lie, it’s hard to rebuild lost trust.

That’s why honesty is the best policy. Remember, each time you tell the truth. You’ll be living your most authentic life and attracting good karma!

4. Privacy

Many people confuse honesty with openness. However, you should know when, why, and to whom you share the private aspects of your life.

It’s important to realize that once you say something, you can’t take it back. Therefore, you should carefully consider your words and avoid oversharing.

You might think that opening up and building intimacy with people mean sharing every part of your day. Still, some people are uncomfortable with oversharing, especially if you’re not close to each other.

In addition, a lack of privacy prompts people not to trust you. They can’t guarantee that you won’t share their personal stories with others!

Unfortunately, a lot of people struggle with setting boundaries.

If you want to become more private, we suggest the following:

  • Slowing down before you speak
  • Asking questions to understand the nature of the conversation
  • Giving others more space to talk
  • Finding your oversharing trigger and halting it

5. Accountability

Accountability can be a hard quality to develop. It involves being responsible for all your actions, words, and feelings, without making any excuses. Naturally, this would be pretty scary!

Having said that, having personal accountability is one of the best traits for any adult to have. When accountability is encouraged in children and young adolescents, they’re more likely to grow up to be self-driven, responsible, and caring.

Moreover, if you take accountability for your mistakes, people will trust and respect you. You’ll prove you’re a genuine person with nothing to hide. In turn, this can help establish self-confidence.

Accountability is an excellent trait to have in your professional life. It shows that you’re a dependable leader. Furthermore, taking accountability early on might de-escalate problems, saving time and money in the long run.

6. Confidence—A “Nice to Have” Quality in a Person

Gaining confidence can significantly enhance your life. We naturally gravitate toward confident individuals. That’s because high self-esteem lets your personality shine, so people will easily connect with and appreciate who you are.

Confidence is the best quality to have at any job. It shows reliability and superb leadership skills. After all, how would you trust the decision-making skills of a leader plagued by self-doubt?

Not only is confidence great for your professional and personal life, but certainty can also be pretty freeing. Instead of worrying about taking risks and being uncertain of the future, you’ll be fearless!

This allows you to move outside your comfort zone, try new hobbies, and have better social interactions.

As if that wasn’t enough, confidence might improve your performance and help you make new achievements, especially in sports.

7. Humility

Humility is the thin line that separates confident people from narcissists. It’s a core value in numerous cultures and religions.

This quality is crucial to being a good leader, friend, or partner. Being humble allows you to respect other people’s opinions and beliefs. You’ll also be less self-involved.

Moreover, pride and humility can’t co-exist. This means you’ll be more likely to let go of your ego and less likely to take things personally. So, humility might provide you with tranquility and peace of mind.

Studies show that humble people are more intelligent. Since humility raises self-awareness and broadens their perspective of the world, they become curious to learn more and expand their knowledge.

8. Creativity—A Quality to Have in a Person That You’ll Appreciate

Creativity is an ideal characteristic that can widen your interests and even make you happier. Then, you might gain self-esteem and even intelligence due to your highly imaginative mind.

Taking a few hours every week to let your mind run wild will do wonders for your health. After all, there’s a reason why artistic activities play a critical role in holistic therapy and public health.

Even if you don’t have a specific talent or hobby, you should still be creative. Having a unique vision is an exceptional asset that’ll significantly advance your career.

For example, many office jobs require a creative mindset. Your boss doesn’t expect you to be crafty, though! Creative people approach obstacles differently, making them ideal for problem-solving and brainstorming.

Additionally, creativity allows you to be more productive and innovative. Most entrepreneurs are quite creative.

You don’t need to be born creative. Alternatively, you should try meditating, traveling, and connecting with other imaginative individuals!

Good qualities to look for in a guy!
Good qualities to look for in a guy!

5 Good Qualities in a Guy

—Good qualities in a person

Now that you know all the best qualities that can help you elevate your personality, you should also understand that gender plays a major role in your life!

There are specific traits that are essential for developing a healthy character among other men. The good qualities in a guy include:

1. Self-Assurance—A Simple Quality to Have in a Person

Men often struggle with a loss of identity. Society places a lot of expectations on guys, and it can be hard to live up to these demands.

For this reason, every man will benefit from self-assurance. This seemingly vain quality reduces your fear of failure and establishes your capabilities and decision-making skills.

The best way to become more confident and self-assured is to let go of all the negative self-talk and doubts. Embrace your distinct personality, thoughts, and opinions.

Nevertheless, you might benefit from implementing some changes in your life to increase your self-esteem. For example, you should always take care of your body and mind.

Becoming healthy and comfortable in your skin will completely transform the way you behave. On the other hand, constantly educating and improving your mind helps you let go of societal norms.

That said, it’s normal to feel inadequate when comparing yourself to some successful people. Just remember that the only person you should compare yourself to is your past self!

2. Reliability

It’s detrimental to be a man of your word. Most men want to be natural leaders. For this to happen, you should be reliable. That’s because dependable men can gain the trust and faith of others.

For example, if a friend asks you for a favor, they wouldn’t need to check occasionally to see if you’ve done it. Instead, your friend knows you’re reliable and will only expect the best of you!

Being reliable also means you live with a clear conscience. You never have to worry about biting more than you can swallow. You say exactly what you mean and only make promises you can fulfill.

There’s no feeling better than being the guy everyone counts on. Yet, if you know you won’t be able to do something, it’s best to apologize earlier than to give people false hope.

Sometimes though, it’s hard to always follow through on your words. People might think you’re unreliable due to something as small as being late one time.

3. Ambition

Do you want to become a successful man or achieve a specific goal? Well, you’ll only do this if you’re highly ambitious and driven.

Personal ambition looks different for every guy. Some men want to maintain a healthy lifestyle, while others want to pursue a certain career. Regardless of the goal, motivation can help you face any challenges and work on your shortcomings.

Furthermore, setting an end target is a great way to introduce some excitement into your life. Rather than living a mundane life, you’ll have something to look forward to. Once you reach your desire, you’ll also have an unparalleled sense of accomplishment!

Many men might let go of their goals because the work is too hard. However, ambition motivates you to push forward and give it your all. Even if you decide to pursue a different objective, ambition will guarantee you’ve learned something from your previous journey.

4. Integrity

Integrity is one of the most powerful characteristics of a man. If you have integrity and morals, you’re basically set on all other good qualities!

Carrying yourself with unwavering honor requires self-assurance, intelligence, accountability, and honesty. A man with integrity is trustworthy and shows great leadership potential.

When you have a great moral compass, you can attract like-minded people and motivate them to be more honest and virtuous. You’ll also be contributing socially by doing the right, ethical thing.

It takes plenty of courage to stand up for what you believe in, especially if others don’t share your opinion. Still, over time, integrity will help you become a better person, and you’ll feel happier and more fulfilled.

5. Sense of Humor—A Quality to Have in a Person Who Will Make Friends

Laughter is what makes life worth living. It’s no doubt that funny men seem more attractive, confident, and relaxed. Developing a funny yet appropriate sense of humor is a social skill!

That’s why having a great sense of humor will significantly improve your social life. You’ll get to showcase your distinct personality while making others happy.

Sure, we can’t all be comedians. That said, finding humor in difficult situations can be a terrific asset. It’s a perfect way to de-stress and wind down after a frustrating day.

You’ve probably heard that laughter prolongs life. It might surprise you to know that this is true! Studies prove that laughter therapy has a positive effect on both physical and mental well-being. So, add some jokes to your day to live a long, joyful life.

Good qualities to look for in a girl!
Good qualities to look for in a girl!

5 Good Qualities in a Girl

—Good qualities in a person

While the above traits can all be in a girl, there are certain attributes that really suit feminine personalities and allow them to shine.

Ladies, here are some great characteristics you should have to become the best version of yourself:

1. Optimism—A Quality to Have In a Person That Pays Dividends!

Being a woman is undoubtedly hard. Not to mention the mental health issues women often experience. Naturally, facing the world with a smile would be hard.

Some people mistake optimism for naivety. Yet, it takes a lot of strength and willpower to look past all the cynicism and negativity. For this reason, seeing the good in every situation is such an admirable quality.

If you’re an optimistic woman, you’ll naturally draw people towards you. After all, your charisma, confidence, and bright personality will show through your positive attitude.

Optimism will also benefit your mind and body. It might seem paradoxical, but a positive outlook reduces anxiety and depression!

Since it can be hard to remain optimistic, here are some ways to incorporate “good vibes” into your life:

  • Regularly express gratitude.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Take the time to help others.
  • Surround yourself with like-minded friends.

2. Authenticity

There are a lot of cultural expectations that come with girlhood. Many women lose themselves trying to emulate trends and faking parts of their lives.

Learning to accept yourself and be authentic is the key to building meaningful relationships. People will see you for who you are, so you’ll get to form true friendships that’ll last forever.

Authentic women are great role models for their friends and family. By embracing your natural self, you can encourage other girls to look up to you and follow in your footsteps.

Additionally, since the words and behaviors you express match your morals and beliefs, you’ll spend less time questioning yourself.

This way, you might get the courage to follow your dreams without worrying about your image or what others think of you. Ultimately, this will lead to enhanced self-esteem and a happy, authentic life!

3. Flexibility

While we all know that it’s impractical to approach different situations with a similar mindset, it’s still difficult to let go of some behavioral patterns.

Flexibility is one of the healthiest traits a girl might develop. It offers peace of mind regardless of the circumstances. People also love easy-going girls!

Being adaptable means you’re ready for whatever life throws your way. The reason this is such an excellent quality is that it’ll improve your mental well-being.

Instead of being rigid and wanting things to go one way, flexible people understand that they can’t control every part of life. So, they accept every scenario and make the best out of it.

This adaptive thinking can be pretty liberating. You won’t need to constantly think of the consequences or make alternative plans to fit every possible outcome. You’ll just get to enjoy the moment.

4. Communication

Communication skills are essential for a successful life. Communication plays a vital role in human life and drives relationships.

Though privacy is important, sharing specific life details is a superb way to connect with people. What’s more, is that interacting with others is a great emotional outlet.

Not only will you feel fulfilled and less stressed when you open up to people, but they also become more inclined to trust and bond with you.

Communicating with others doesn’t only involve sharing. Active listening is always the way to go when speaking with others. It shows that you’re engaging with your conversation partner and relating to them.

When you connect with others, you gather and share helpful advice and new experiences. So, you might consider communication as a learning opportunity!

It’s critical to understand that you should be mindful when conversing with others. Be compassionate and avoid judging any conflicting thoughts or beliefs.

5. Support

Do you want to be a part of a loving community that enriches your life? The first step should be to support others!

Supportive people make the best leaders, friends, parents, and partners. Providing help when people are in need is the kindest thing you can do. It takes a lot of willpower to support others without prejudice or wanting anything in return.

Yet, offering support can also benefit you. That’s because you gain a feeling of unity and belonging when you help others. In addition, doing something selfless will boost your self-esteem.

Lastly, nurturing others might give you a sense of meaning in life, especially once you see your friends and family thriving and thanking you for your support!

In Conclusion: Good Qualities in a Person to Look For

We should always strive to embrace the best parts of ourselves and improve other aspects. That’s why it’s important to consider some good qualities in a person.

Numerous attributes can make a person ethical, trustworthy, and overall a role model. These traits include being honest, accountable, and compassionate. This, in turn, can make you more confident, intelligent, and humble!

Having said that, guys might benefit from having a few other traits. For example, good male leaders need to be assertive and have high integrity and self-assurance. This way, others might look up to them and trust their guidance.

As for girls, they might significantly gain from having a positive outlook on life. They should also embrace their authentic selves and be more adaptable to changes!

Now that you know all the good qualities in a person, keep in mind that you shouldn’t try to be perfect. Instead, try to be human!


Eagleson, Claire, et al. “The Power of Positive Thinking: Pathological Worry Is Reduced by Thought Replacement in Generalized Anxiety Disorder.” Behavior Research and Therapy, U.S. National Library of Medicine, Mar. 2016, NCBI.

Lochbaum, Marc, et al. “Revisiting the Self-Confidence and Sport Performance Relationship: A Systematic Review with Meta-Analysis.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 24 May 2022, NCBI.

Porter, Tenelle, et al. “Predictors and Consequences of Intellectual Humility.” Nature Reviews Psychology, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 2022, NCBI.

RE;, Noble. “Depression in Women.” Metabolism: Clinical and Experimental, U.S. National Library of Medicine, NCBI.

Stuckey, Heather L, and Jeremy Nobel. “The Connection between Art, Healing, and Public Health: A Review of Current Literature.” American Journal of Public Health, U.S. National Library of Medicine, Feb. 2010, NCBI.

Yoshikawa, Yuki, et al. “Beneficial Effect of Laughter Therapy on Physiological and Psychological Function in Elders.” Nursing Open, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 18 July 2018, NCBI.

Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.