Bryan, my friend from San Francisco, asked me a question about his relationship. He said, “Ryan, how often should you see your boyfriend? Is there ‘too much’ or ‘too little’?” Well, yes there absolutely is. And the answer can depend on the type of relationship you’re in and your age group.
When relationships begin, they usually start off with a date night per week, on average. This date night consists of going out to dinner, doing a fun activity, or something else that is considered romantic for the date night. But as you progress, it starts to become a question—how often should we be seeing each other?
Married couples, based on a study by the Oxford Journals shows that they spend an average of 5.5 hours together per day (especially in their encore years)! So when you’re asking this question—make sure you understand that you’re asking the RIGHT ONE! And whatever it is that you’re considering—you are doing the right thing. If you want to have a serious and long-term relationship, you’ll have to know you can spend time together.
Let’s dig into the answer!
How Often Should You See Your Boyfriend? ANSWER!
Here is how often you should see your boyfriend as it begins to progress.
1: If you’re a teenager
When you’re a teenager, getting into relationships is often a very new thing. And when you’re a girl, you might find yourself wanting to be around your boyfriend often. Whether it’s in school, after school, and on the weekends.
Generally, you’ll want to see your boyfriend (on a date night) at least once per week in the beginning. Especially leading up to the 6-month mark!
After 6-months
When it’s been longer than 6-months, you’ll probably see each other anywhere from 2-3 times per week. Anything more than that would be considered “too much.” Although, it’s always best to go with whatever is feeling right.
Related: Signs your boyfriend is losing interest
2: When you’re in your 20’s—how often should you see your boyfriend?
In your 20’s, your responsibilities aren’t extremely high yet. This is the prime time of life to meet someone you can have a long-term relationship with. The reason for it? Because you’re going to have more friendships during this time of life, work/career is very new, and there’s simply more time to devote to it.
Usually, in your 20’s, just like as a teenager, you’ll see your boyfriend once per week. And then leading up to the 6-month mark of your relationship, things should progress.
After 6-months
When it’s been 6-months or longer—the two of you should be seeing each other at least 2-3 times per week. Maybe even more depending on the distance between the two of you (the physical distance, that is). If you don’t have someone who is willing to see you this much, it could mean they’re not interested in having a healthy relationship.
See also: Signs he likes you but is playing it cool
3: When you’re in your 30’s
In your 30’s, life begins to shift a little bit. One of you might have a home. A job that requires them to travel. Or there just might be more responsibilities to deal with. At a minimum, the two of you should be seeing each other once per week or more.
The reason why it’s important to consider the “more” part in the relationship is that it shows they’re interested in advancing in life. If someone is in their 30’s and not looking like they’re going to progress—it’s time to drop it.
After 6-months
Like mentioned above, if you’ve practiced some patience and it’s still not progressing to 3 times per week (that you see your boyfriend)—I would move on!
4: When you’re in your 40’s and 50’s
Life begins to really shift in your 40’s and 50’s. At this stage of life, sometimes seeing each other is going to be a lot harder. In fact, it begins to change dramatically to where seeing your boyfriend once every two weeks might be more realistic.
Why does this happen? Well, one of you might have a family. Or one of you might have significant responsibilities. It’s going to take a lot of effort and focus to make sure that you see each other enough.
After 6-months
If you aren’t seeing each other at least once per week after the 6-month mark—you should consider the relationship a ‘friendship‘ more than anything else.
5: For seniors and more
Seniors often find themselves with the opportunity to go one or two directions. They either choose a relationship where they see someone ‘every so often,’ which includes maybe seeing a boyfriend once or twice every two weeks. Or they choose to hang out with someone a significant amount.
It can really vary based on how serious they are taking the relationship this late in life. The reality is that most relationships at this stage of life have a very different objective. It’s about coming together to share in compassion, care, support, and affection.
After 6-months
We would hope that after 6-months, the two would come together more often to share in life. This might happen, this might not. It really can vary based on the person’s health, living situation, family situation, and much more.
Conclusion: How Often Should You See Your Boyfriend?
Should you see your boyfriend every day? Well, maybe! If the two of you are going to live together—it’s important to know that you can spend this amount of time together and still collaborate/work together on taking care of a home or other needs in each other’s lives.
The amount of time that you spend together can vary based on age, location, stage of life, responsibilities, and much more. But that shouldn’t deter you or your boyfriend from deciding to move forward.
Based on my own experience—after 6-months, I always wanted to progress in relationships that I cared about. And if the other person wasn’t showing that same level of interest, then I knew it was time to move on.
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Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.
