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How to be More Feminine

One of my favorite readers and contributors emailed me and asked, “Ryan, you talk a lot about the feminine energy. If someone were to ask how to be more feminine, what type of advice would you be giving them?” Well, I love this question! It’s an important one!

In this modern day and age, femininity doesn’t need to go against social norms. More and more women are recognizing that their womanliness stems from within.

Some feel that their femininity comes from sophistication, elegance, and grace. For other women, being feminine means having soft curves and exuding sensuous charm.

Whatever it may be, no one can deny that femininity defies all logic because it’s so ethereal, almost like a graceful, poised specter.

If you’re interested in how to be more feminine, you’ve come to the right place.

Let’s get started.

A feminine woman who is playing the part
A feminine woman who is playing the part

What Does It Mean to Be Feminine?

Having feminine energy means possessing a specific set of qualities. These qualities are considered the polar opposite of those associated with masculinity or masculine energy.

Together, they create a fully balanced entity like the yin and yang.

You express your feminine side by embracing your creativity through dance, art, or music. It also manifests itself every time you tune in to the flow of life and your internal processes, which include your thoughts and emotions.

It’s patient and emotional, while being free and fluid.

Unfortunately, society tends to value masculine energy more. It’s seen as a progressive force that’s more dynamic and, ultimately, more dominant.

As a result, feminine energy, or femininity, is often cast aside and seen as frail, unstable, impressionable, and defenseless.

The truth is feminine and masculine energies are two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other. Yet, each one of us has different ratios of both energies.

Yet, it’s our feminine side that keeps us close to nature. It’s what allows us to connect to something bigger than ourselves and have the power to express our creative side.

The problem is some people confuse womanliness with weakness or passiveness. Just because feminine energy is associated with gentle traits like nurture and compassion doesn’t mean being submissive or shallow.

It’s actually the opposite.

Among the traits of femininity are resilience and determination. It’s having confidence in who you are and what you believe in.

That sounds like the exact opposite of someone who’s weak and helpless.

What Makes a Woman Feminine?

Wearing a fancy dress and high heels doesn’t make a woman more feminine, although it’s a good start.

Feminine energy stems from a culmination of different things, such as how you look, your actions, and your level of emotional awareness.

One of the unique things about femininity is that it’s a constant and cyclical force. This force is about how well you can appreciate your body and share its natural and inherent power with the world.

So, what makes a woman feminine?

It’s the ability to balance a mix of social, cultural, and biological traits with intrinsic attributes, behavior, and personal style. It’s also your state of mind, how you live your life, and the choices you make that determine your level of unique feminine energy.

In short, feminine beauty embodies gentle and empathetic qualities, such as:

  • Sensitive
  • Kindness
  • Affection
  • Compassion
  • Devotion
  • Understanding
  • Nurturing

Why Should You Be Feminine?

Why not? Sure, beauty is about what’s on the inside. Although, there’s no denying that feminine energy is all about confidence, assertiveness, and elegance.

When you exude femininity, you feel good about yourself. And when you feel good, you look good.

Another advantage of showing off your feminine beauty is that it makes life less of a hassle. You feel more comfortable showing off your captivating charm. So, it becomes easier to make friends and acquaintances.

The traits of femininity make it possible to compromise and forgive the people you care about. These qualities give life meaning and purpose, while allowing us to continue together on our journey.

It also pays to have feminine energy at work because it boosts your ability to collaborate, communicate, and coordinate with others. How can you not climb the ladder of success when you have the 3 Cs of good work ethics at your disposal?

A very feminine woman not being risque with her looks
A very feminine woman not being risque with her looks

How to Be More Feminine

For some lucky women, femininity comes naturally to them. For others, however, it’s an acquired skill that needs regular practice and conscious effort.

Yet, that’s okay. We can all learn to tap into our unique feminine power with these daily habits.

1. Indulge in Self-Care

Taking time each day to do the things that allow you to take care of yourself is the foundation of keeping your feminine energy alive.

Think of this time as a way to offer yourself what you typically offer others: support and compassion. So, in essence, you’re directing your innate ability to nurture inward rather than constantly channeling it outward to others.

Remember that the first rule of femininity is to take care of yourself. Once you do that, you’ll have more energy for everyone else, and everything will fall into place.

Related: Alpha female weaknesses

2. Love Yourself

Studies show that women use more negative self-talk than men. We tend to be our own worst critics and judge ourselves much harsher than we would anyone else. Unfortunately, being more feminine entails a kind of self-love that many of us lack.

Yet, there’s still hope as long as you’re willing to make a conscious decision to stop being so hard on yourself. You need to love your one-of-a-kind beauty with a passion at all ages and stages.

How? Show yourself more empathy and kindness. Increasing your emotional awareness and being kinder to yourself is also a good place to start.

3. Laugh More

As we grow older, we take on more responsibilities and burdens, which seem to suck the fun out of living. The good news is that you can still be a mature, reliable adult while still maintaining your sense of humor.

It’s okay to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while and get in touch with your fun, playful side. Think of it as a welcome break from all your duties.

Plus, when you laugh more, you bring out your light-hearted, gentle energy, which are two of the purest qualities of femininity.

4. Dress Nice

As we mentioned above, dressing pretty won’t necessarily make you look pretty. But it certainly plays a role in making you feel more feminine.

The problem is in this busy day and age, we’re constantly running from one place to the next. So, we’ve grown accustomed to throwing on a pair of worn-out jeans so we can keep up with our day.

Yet, if you take the time to lay out a comfortable, but stylish, ensemble or dress, it can make a world of difference. Pretty soon, you’ll get used to wearing pretty clothes, and rely less and less on your jeans.

Related: What is an Alpha Female?

5. Be Mindful

Mindfulness meditation is gaining in popularity as one of the most effective and accessible forms of relaxing and de-stressing. Just five minutes a day can make a world of difference in recharging your feminine energy.

In addition, taking some time to slow down and really be present in the moment counters the receptive energy, which is often associated with femininity. Yet, when we’re constantly bombarded with this energy, we feel like we’re always on the receiving end without any relief in sight.

So, tuning inward and cultivating an inner sense of peace is a great way to connect to your womanliness.

6. Be Creative

Feminine energy is creative. After all, women’s bodies were designed to create life.

Yet, this force can also manifest itself by being imaginative, innovative, and artistic. Write down a list of some of the things you want to create. This energy can manifest itself through writing, dancing, music, painting, or anything else you envision.

The point is to use the creative expression that flows through you to boost your femininity.

7. Embrace Change

Often people think femininity is soft and quiet. Yet, it can also be bold and exciting!

Use this power of transformation to your advantage by making changes in areas of your life where you don’t feel happy or satisfied. You have to throw out the old before you can bring in the new, empowered version of your feminine beauty.

That said, you have to acknowledge that change can be scary and hectic. Though, one way to think about it is that we’re changing all the time anyway. So, why not embrace the transformations you’re going through and be proud of your dynamic and high-powered feminine energy flowing through you?

8. Be More Carefree

Let’s face it: we’re all overworked and overstressed. We’ve stopped enjoying life because we rarely connect with one another or take vacations, or go on camping trips.

When we stop experiencing the fun, carefree joys of life, we lose touch with our feminine side.

So, stop waiting for your next planned vacation to feel relaxed. Instead, why not take a spontaneous afternoon off and enjoy some much-needed down-time?

9. Connect with Nature

Places have either a feminine or a masculine feel to them depending on their general qualities. Feminine places are all about life force energy.

This includes places like parks and forests. Places near bodies of water, like rivers, lakes, and oceans, are also highly abundant with feminine energy.

So, it makes sense that when your femininity needs a pick-me-up, you head to any of these places. Spend some time letting the energy flow through you as you reflect on the things around you.

10. Ask for Help

Society has convinced us that if we ask for help, we immediately turn into damsels in distress who can’t manage on their own. Yet, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Human beings are social creatures in constant need of support and assistance from others. No one can survive on their own, no matter how strong and self-reliant they are.

So, it turns out that one of the most effective ways to boost your feminine beauty is to ask for help. Acknowledge the times when you feel vulnerable, then reach out to a friend, family member, colleague, or neighbor for help.

11. Understand Your Emotions

Masculine energy is expressed more through logic and rationality. On the flip side, the feminine energy revolves more around the expression of emotions.

While we all know when we feel one way or another, we rarely know why. The good news is that understanding your feelings and where they stem from can be learned.

You just need to become more attuned to your needs and wants. As you pay more attention, you’ll boost your emotional awareness, thus helping you get in touch with your feminine energy.

12. Choose Red

Red is the color of passion, vibrancy, and an energetic soul. It also does a pretty good job of advertising your more feminine qualities.

So, add a splash of red in your outfit. You can choose to go loud and pick a red blouse or dress. Or, you can be a bit more understated and bring along a red scarf or handbag or put on red lipstick.

You’re probably thinking, ‘How can one color make any difference?’ Try it for one day. You’ll be amazed at how much your feminine beauty will get a nice boost when you express your womanliness with some color.

13. Listen to Your Intuition

Women tend to have more intuitive powers because of their emotional and creative energy that flows through them. Yet, many times, we’re forced to cast them aside because society implores us to rely more on facts and figures.

One of the perks of showing off your feminine side is that you can embrace your intuition without feeling guilty. And the more you trust your gut, the stronger your sixth sense will become.

It may be unreasonable and automatic. However, your intuition is the guiding force that shapes your impressions and relationships while enhancing your femininity.

14. Own Your Confidence

Showing how confident you are about everything you’ve accomplished in life is a great way to feel good about yourself.

For some reasons, women often feel they need to brush off compliments. Thus, one way to boost your self-esteem and femininity simultaneously is by graciously accepting compliments without following it with self-deprecating remarks.

Being confident can also come across in the way you walk. The female body can move with grace and fluidity. So, why not use that to express your femininity as you glide across the room as opposed to trudging from place to place?

15. Look the Part

A messy bun is quick and easy, and you probably look pretty cute in it. Yet, it pays to take the time to fuss over your hair. You can even try new styling techniques like using hair clips or a curling iron.

Another thing that brings out feminity is well-moisturized skin and well-manicured nails. After all, nothing says femininity that soft, glowing skin and pretty nails.

Finally, learn the power of good posture. Sitting with your back straight and your shoulders well-aligned will make you look confident and attractive, which are two critical factors of femininity.

A very womanly woman
A very womanly woman

Final Thoughts: How to be More Feminine

Learning how to be more feminine may be easier than you think. You simply need to focus on the things that give off feminine beauty, and do more of those each day.

Once you know what triggers your womanliness, you can harness this energy. The next step is to apply it in life to bring you health and happiness for you and your loved ones.

Plus, knowing how to manifest this energy means you can take stock of your unique traits and use them to play up to your strengths.

Implement these practices and you’ll start to feel more energized and alive!

Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

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