My friend Brian sent me a text the other night. It was just like this, I kid you not — “Ryan, dude! How do I tell if a girl likes me? I feel like right now I’m getting stared down and I have this feeling like she’s super into me but I can’t really tell.” I laughed a little bit at my friend. Then told him, “Brian, there are SO MANY ways to tell if she likes you. This is impossible to text.” If you’re wondering how to know if a girl likes you or not—you’re not the only one.
I decided to try and write out the definitive guide on how to do this. It’s not fool-proof but it’s worth a try!
First, my experience knowing if a girl likes me…
It’s super hard to figure this out. I’m with you. I’ve had experiences where the girl who liked me made ZERO eye contact with me.
In particular, it was at the gym. It was a few years ago, she was always avoiding me. Never wanting to be in the same room as me.
And then, finally, one day—I went up to her and said hello. After I did that, she actually ASKED ME OUT! I was shocked. But then, not really.
The reason I wasn’t shocked it because if I really looked back on it—there were plenty of indicators that she was into me, I just didn’t listen to them.
Basic and Good Ways to Know if a Girl Likes You
—How to know if a girl likes you
Signs a girl likes you or wants to be more than “just a friend” to you! Woot, you’re leaving the friend zone—and next stop might be a full-on relationship!!!
Her body language is sending a strong signal
Positive body language would include her having her arms open to you, her hips pointed toward you, and other indicators of her general body position being comfortable, relaxed, and pointed at you.
This may not always be the case if she’s trying to play “hard to get” and wants to run away from you. But you can take this and reverse it if you’re feeling like that’s what she’s doing.
A person’s body language may not be the only indicator of whether or not they’re interested. You’ll have to combine it with all of the other subtle signs that there’s a romantic connection brewing to get a complete idea of what’s happening…
She asks you to spend time together
A pretty subtle sign that she’s into you. She might say that she wants to spend time together. And when she does—she’s hoping that you’ll respond with something positive.
She gets jealous when you’re around other women
If you’re hanging out around other women and she notices—does she start to have emotions about it? If that’s the case, it might be that she wants to be more than just friends!!!
There’s always likes and comments on your social media posts
When she’s very active on your social media accounts—like watching your stories, replying, or commenting. Then that’s a really good sign that she might be interested in you!
She does simple things, like invites you to her friend’s birthday party
Something simple like this could be a great indicator. It’s telling you that she doesn’t just want another female friend to be there with her.
Rather, she wants you to be there and to see where that could lead you!
She’s nervous when she’s around you
Does she act a little nervous? Like for example, is she speaking quickly or maybe kind of fidgeting? If that’s happening—it could be a strong message to you that she wants you to know that she’s a little scared to talk to you!
There is touching of her hair that happens when she’s around you (preening)
Touching of her hair is a strong sign that she’s a tiny bit nervous.
This twitch or habit can happen without her even noticing. Especially if she’s moving her hair from the front of her body to the back. Or vice versa.
General Eagerness Signs to Use
—How to know if a girl likes you
She’s eager to spend time with you (shows it over text message)
Being excited to spend time with you is an AWESOME SIGN! If, for example, when you say that you’re getting together—and she shows enthusiasm over text message… That’s a great thing.
She’s laughing a little too much when she’s around you
Laughing too much could be an indicator that she wants you to notice her. Especially when you’re just casually talking. It means that she’s experiencing some feelings and doesn’t exactly know how to let it out.
So instead of telling you that you’re a romantic interest of hers—she just laughs a little louder. Or maybe a little bit more—hoping that you notice her.
Related: Signs she is pretending to love you
There is prolonged eye contact that’s happening
Prolonged eye contact is a good thing. But it doesn’t mean that it’s always the bullseye. I would combine this with a healthy and deep conversation that she wants to have with you.
This level of attention toward you, when combined with other apparent signs, can definitely be a strong one to use to gauge the situation.
She’s texting you a lot (especially in the morning or at night)
A lot of texting with you could indicate that she’s always thinking about you.
Or even if she’s not always thinking about you—she’s always texting you and wanting to engage. This would be a really good thing and doesn’t happen as “just friendly” conversation!
You found out she’s talking to her friends about you
Did you find out that she’s been talking about you to her girl friends? If that’s the case—well, that’s a strong indicator!
Can’t really get a better sign than that!
She’ll tell you when she’s free
This is like an invitation. The woman is saying, “Hey, this is an open invite—why don’t you go ahead and take it?!”
She’s fully present when you talk to her
They won’t be talking to anyone else. They won’t be making any other movement. And only you will be the primary focus. You’ll feel this.
See also: Signs she is cheating on you
There’s a lot of giggling when she’s around her female friends
Maybe you’re still in school. Well, social hour is really fun! If she’s giggling and making faces at you when she’s with her friends—then it could be an indicator that she’s trying to mask some feelings that she’s having for you.
Just let her go ahead and do those things! It’s completely natural!
She may have told you the last time she was in a romantic relationship
This is like a small slip…
By her telling you the last time she was in a relationship—it’s like telling you that she wants to be in a relationship with you.
She’ll open up about romantic feelings that she’s having toward you
Maybe the girl that you’re interested in is willing to just completely open up…
If that’s the case, then you’ve got a great gal on your hands! Someone who is blunt with you and open with you—is fantastic! It means they don’t want to play games and are totally willing to come right out with it.
There’s a response to your playful teasing
Playful teasing—like calling each other names. Or maybe just “ribbing” each other.
Think of this as a type of “rizz” that’s happening to you.
She’s comfortable around you and openly shows it
Being comfortable around you is being willing to open up about her feelings. Telling you things that are happening in her life. And generally, just being able to converse with you in an engaging way.
You’ll know when she’s open and you’ll know when she’s closed off.
—How to know if a girl likes you
She’s open about things happening in her life
Telling you every little detail is a great sign. Things that are hurting her. Things that are bothering her. Or even, just going really well.
What you’ll want to look for—is more of less that she’s vulnerable. The ability to be vulnerable around you is a strong indication that she’s willing to jump in, romantically.
Other girls tell you that she’s into you
If someone that you know is telling you that she’s into you—then that’s your green light.
You shouldn’t waste any time and you should jump in and ask her out!
She’ll come up with cute nicknames for you
A cute nickname or two… Maybe a pet name. This is like someone wanting to jump into a relationship without really having one yet.
This is a good thing. Go ahead, let her call you something sweet and cute.
You don’t see her around other guys, just you
Woah, what a great thing this would be! If you’ve not seen her around other men, that would be a positive thing. It would indicate to you that she’s only really interested in hanging around ONE GUY!!! And that’s you!
There’s honest communication between the two of you
Honest and open communication is a way of building trust. When she’s willing to show up for you in the little moments throughout the day—that’s her telling you that she wants you to depend on her.
This is a good little indicator. It’s subtle—but cute!
Her friends treat you differently and you notice it
When her friends start to treat you like you’re a king—that is the sign that you’re getting noticed and getting attention from the women she’s talking to.
Trust me, you’ll notice when they start doing this! It feels good.
But when they stop, you’ll notice that, too! And that sucks!
She teases you (like she’s flirting with you)
Flirting with you is a good thing. You’ll know when she’s doing it.
The volume of her voice might go up. The things she says will change. It’s generally just her way of trying to make sure that you notice her.
She’s always paying attention to what you’re doing or saying
If you’ve said something and she remembers—that’s a good thing! Like, for example, did she remember that you had a sporting event that you were going to.
Or did she remember your birthday. These are tiny little signs but they are ones that create a strong foundation for a relationship to occur.
Expert advice: Getting a better idea of what body language signs actually look like can be a great way to basically “memorize” what you see when you see a woman in public. This resource from BetterHelp is one of my favorites.
Signals That Include Friends and Messages
—How to know if a girl likes you
She uses an emissary to get in touch with you if she’s shy
She’ll show up in certain places where she anticipates you being. Trust me, you’ll know when she’s doing this.
It becomes less of a coincidence than you might think!
You know when she’s busy and when she’s not (she tells you)
Her communicating her schedule to you is a really good thing. It’s like sending an invite.
The message is, “Hey, I’m available! Come and fill my schedule with a date, maybe!?”
She shows genuine interest in the things that you like or like to do
If you’ve told her the things that you like to do in your free time. And she genuinely shows some type of interest in that, that’s such a good thing.
For example, you may have said you like chess. And she asks if you could show her how to play.
Well, that’s a great thing!
There’s positive emotions that she feels around you and she tells you, in a subtle way
Telling you this in a subtle way is a little bit of an art form. But women are really good at doing it. The way they might do it is by saying something like this:
“Man, I wish I could feel this happy around all guys! Haha!”
She suggests to spend more time together one-on-one
It’s like she’s asking you out on a date but without exactly having to do it.
The way she might do it is by saying things like, “You want to get together again next weekend?”
Something as simple as that can go a really long way!
You see that she acts differently around you than other guys
You’ll notice when she’s acting differently around you then other guys.
She maintains eye contact with you while you’re talking
While it’s not just about active-listening, if she’s not looking down or away when you talk to her—that’s great.
It means that she has the confidence to look you in the eye. And yes, this can go the other way, too. A woman who shows that she’s too self-conscious could also be saying that she’s into you!
Subtle Ways You Have to Catch
—How to know if a girl likes you
She tells you that she’s single
I mean, what better way to tell that she’s single if—well, she tells you!
She might just say, “You know, I’m single—just wanted to let you know!” It’s flirty, too!
There’s an attempt to show you that you have common interests
She might try to tell you that she’s interested in working out. Or interested in going out to dinners. Just things that you may have said that you like to do.
Or if you post about it on your social media—then she might follow up and try to align with you.
She stands in a relaxed posture when she talks to you
A relaxed posture is one that is kind of slouching (like leaning) and is just very comfortable.
She’ll have her hips pointed toward you. And her legs will be slightly open.
Generally, there’s no discomfort being shown at all.
There’s an attempt to tell you that you have attractive qualities as a guy
If she’s telling you things about other men—like what she DOESN’T like about them, then that’s a good sign, too.
This is like her trying to tell you—hey, I like what you have to offer, it’s okay if you offer it to me!
There’s a “closing of the gap” when it comes to physical distance when you talk to each other
She’s getting closer and closer the more that you talk.
Generally, this is just a good way to tell that she wants to be close to you.
The two of you share a genuine connection that feels like it doesn’t require extra effort
A feeling of a genuine connection is one that you’ll be able to tell. It’s like, being drawn to each other. This means that conversations seem easy. And that being around each other also seems easy.
When everything seems “effortless,” I’d say that’s a pretty good thing—no?
She might work in relationship status into common conversations
Working int conversations what her current relationship life might look like is a great way to tell you that she’s digging you!
She’ll post more on social media, hoping that you find them
If she’s posting more on social media, hoping that you’ll see it—you’ll definitely know.
All you have to do to determine if this is happening is just to look at her feed and see what her average posting amount USED TO be and what IT IS NOW.
Compare the two and you have your answer! Neat trick, right!?
Her social media posts are a bit more about her looks
I wouldn’t say this is a good thing—but if you want to know, then it means she’s trying to get your attention.
It’s not a good thing because well… It means she’s also looking for attention from all other men. And that’s a yuck in my opinion.
Expert advice: While I’m no certified relationship coach, these interesting studies have found what people wear can often influence whether they’re desired at first acquaintance.
Little Nudges You Need to Pick Up On
—How to know if a girl likes you
She’ll try to tell you all the cool things that she does
When all you hear about is what cool things she’s been up to and how that compares to the cool things that you’re doing—then it’s like she trying to “be on your level.”
This is a good thing… Let it happen!
She might tell you what she’s attracted to in a guy—and make it sound like it fits who you are (hoping that you get the hint)
Things like, “Man, I love men with dark hair.” And then you realize—well, I have dark hair!
This is just her way of trying to tell you that there’s a shot here. And you can go ahead and take it if you want to!
When you share things that are impactful in your life, she’ll remember (and potentially text you about them)
Sharing things like “an upcoming sporting event” might just be the start of it. Things like, important events in your family life.
Or important tests that might be coming up in school. These types of things are great if she remembers them and then asks you about them or texts you about them.
She’s getting a little jealous when you hang out with your other male friends instead of her
If you’re around other women and you see her get jealous—that’s a good thing! Let it happen!
Expert advice: Both men and women display their emotions differently. In particular, it’s important to note that women display sadness more openly than any other emotion (based on this study). It could have a strong impact on what you see when you are looking at a woman and whether it leads to something romantic or not.
When she talks to you, she doesn’t have crossed arms or crossed legs
Crossed arms or legs would indicate that she’s closed off.
Or trying to tell you that “this girl isn’t open for business.” Basically, it would just indicate that she’s really not that into you and you shouldn’t even give it a shot!
Last Ways to Tell If She’s Into You!
—How to know if a girl likes you
She’ll mirror you (the psychological concept of mimicking your behaviors)
Mirroring is when you move your body one particular way and she does it, too.
Like if you start walking and then she starts walking with you. This would be a great thing and would tell you that she’s a submissive woman (in a good way!).
When you don’t text her, she texts you to see how things are going
Let her text you and then make sure that you engage with her! Reciprocation here is really key!
If you do text, she doesn’t dry text or use short messages
Dry texts or really short messages would be a bad indicator. That’s like someone telling you, “I’m busy, can I text you later?” Instead, messages that are lengthy would be a strong sign that she’s talking to JUST YOU and ONLY YOU!
There’s potential that she actually calls you on the phone, rather than texting
Calling on the phone is a really good thing. It’s another way to establish a connection and start to get to know you better.
Texting is cool and all—but someone who actually picks up the phone and starts to talk to you really shows that they care about who you are and what you have to offer them.
She’ll ask you about things you like—for example, “Did you see that TV show last night?”
This goes beyond just remembering what you like. For example, if there’s a TV show that the two of you really like together. Well, if she’s asking you about it—then that’s a great thing, right?
It means that she remembered you and that she wants to engage with you!
There could be a lot of engagement in conversations you have—her asking you a lot of questions about life or the week/day
This ones pretty straightforward and simple. But when someone asks you questions. An then continues the conversation (meaning, they don’t want to let the conversation drop), then that means that they actually have clear INTENTIONS WITH YOU!
Do the same thing in return. Don’t be one of those people that closes out the conversation early or plays hard to get in a dumb way!
There’s a random text from her early in the morning or late at night that you weren’t expecting
A good morning text or goodnight text would be a great thing. Someone who sends these wants to make sure that you start your day off on a great foot. And that you end it on a great foot.
This is like someone going the distance for you without really knowing you. You should try to do something sweet for this person in return!
Conclusion—how to know if a girl likes you
Here’s a harsh reality—you’ll never REALLY know unless you just ask her out!
As a guy, it can be really hard to do this. And don’t get me wrong, even to this day, I have a hard time trying to advise guys on making this easier or less stressful.
In many ways, I wish women would step up to the plate a little bit more and go ahead and ask some guys out. But they probably won’t do that!
It’s going to be up to you to step out of your comfort zone, get a little confidence together, and take a risk. The worst thing that could happen is that someone might say no. And that’s okay! You just move onto the next one and chalk it up to a failed attempt.
BUT! You’ll never know unless you TRY!