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How to Make Him Obsessed With You (10+ WAYS!)

A girl friend of mine named Amy asked me the other night, “Ryan, what are some ways that I can make him obsessed with me? I feel like I am obsessed with him and so I want it to be the other way around.” Okay, well, that’s not a bad goal! So I decided to write down some ideas on how to make him obsessed with you… Here they are!

A guy with a baby

Healthy obsession in a relationship makes the bond stronger and more enjoyable to be in. It also shows that your significant other wouldn’t want anyone beside you to spend the rest of their life with.

In a way, many people would agree that someone hasn’t found true love if they aren’t at least healthily obsessed with each other to some degree.

While this usually depends on the dynamic of the relationship, most times and for most people, this may be true.

Take the nearest example of your current or older love affairs.

Have you not been obsessed with your significant other and they as well at the beginning of your new fruitful relationship?

Have you not been secretly disappointed that this feeling gradually degrades as the relationship gets older?

We know the feeling of a man obsessed with their partner in a relationship, and frankly, there’s hardly anything better than being loved, head over heels, by the person you feel deep affection for.

My experience with making a guy obsessed with you..

Okay, so, I’m a guy! But what I can say is that I’ve had girls really be able to tug at my heart strings…

One thing that always stands out to me is when women are able to be different than the others. I know you don’t want to hear it—but many women don’t cook or clean. Or do nice small acts.

When I had a woman who did that… I didn’t want to let her up. The key was that these things made HER happy to do them.

Consider that before you go forward in this article. What makes you happy? How does that fit in with him?

How To Make Him Obsessed With You (Ways to do it!)

Maybe you’ve seen how your friend’s boyfriend is smitten entirely by her, and you want your man to display the exact same type of energy.

Or you’ve been in a relationship with a person for a while, and you feel like he’s been distant lately.

At this moment, regardless of the case you’re in, we know how to make him completely captivated by you.

As much as we want to, there won’t be any recipes for potions and dark spells, but rather a list of things you can do to make your boyfriend start obsessing over you or refuel that obsession you once had.

Read on and take notes! Maybe this will spark the obsession in him that you’ve been missing out on.

Getting Him Obsessed Is Not As Hard As You Think

A couple by the river

Getting him obsessed over you again starts with a few changes within you. We don’t mean you have to turn into a completely different person just for him.

No, that’s dangerous, and you’ll never be happy or have a healthy long relationship!

However, when we talk about changes, we mean working on the little things that you already have, like working on your physical appearance or getting a clear picture of his desires and using them to your advantage.

Take it this way, turn yourself into a love object that he can’t get enough of. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally.

So without further ado, here is the list of things you can do to get him obsessed with you finally!

Start With Confidence

Two people in bed

Being confident is always an attractive trait, no matter the gender or the relationship dynamic you’ve built for yourselves.

When someone sees their partner radiating that self-love, self-assurance, or “comfy in my own skin” energy, it convinces them that their partner is happy to be where they are.

Understanding and embracing your strengths, flaws, quirks, and everything that makes you who you are and what your partner has fallen in love with should make him obsessed and crazy for you in no time.

So build quality self-esteem by paying attention to your more insecure areas, learning, and working to be confident in them just as much as you are confident in your proudest areas.

Make Your Boyfriend Feel Valued And Loved

How to make him obsessed with you

Feeling valued and loved has and will always be something to cherish by the person receiving the effort.

Everyone loves to be appreciated, so to make your boyfriend obsessed, we can confirm that it doesn’t take much but a little extra effort put in.

You can start by showing genuine interest in what he does, like his career, complimenting his achievements, striking passion in his hobbies, being a good listener, and asking all the right questions when you listen to his stories, showing that you’re attentive.

These are all simple things you can do without breaking a sweat and, in return, can help you create a deeper emotional connection with your boyfriend.

It often does not take much to make a man feel appreciated or make a man fall head over heels for you.

With a little bit of effort into making him feel that you’re there to understand, love, and support him in everything he does, you’d get his full attention!

Begin Where You Left Off

Girl with a guitar

It’s about him as much as it’s about you!

Showing interest in your lover and appreciating everything he does is a step toward making him fall head over heels for you, but at the same time, don’t forget about your own interests as well.

Men typically find their partners extremely alluring when they see them passionate about their own crafts.

It could be your hobby, career, or something you love doing or making; find it in yourself to start being passionate about it again.

Watching you be so happy and excited about doing something you love would surely make your boyfriend obsessed.

Besides, it makes him obsessed, and you’d always have something to talk about. Be the woman of purpose he longs for and make him obsessed!

Be His Sanctuary

A couple

We’d all agree that in most relationships, men are the ones who protect us, women, from danger; call it “the hero instinct.”

But if the roles were reversed, most men would find the situation highly emasculating.

However, when we tell you about being his sanctuary, we mean being the shoulder and the comfort zone for him when life gives him lemons.

A place where he can be himself and share his innermost secrets or words he can’t express to anyone except only you.

Life is certainly a challenge, and everyone needs to lean on someone’s shoulder at some point in time.

Be the comfort for him and let him know that he can always speak to you without any judgments from your side, like the safe haven you are.

When he’s seriously comfortable opening up, expressing his real feelings, and seeing you as his sanctuary, he won’t lose interest anytime soon but rather be obsessed with you.

Admiration, Compassion, And Kindness

Ways to make him obsessed with you

An important thing to note is that admiration, compassion, and kindness can only come from a place with respect for yourself and your boyfriend.

Treat him the way you would want to be treated and think logically. How would you feel when he’s stood there admiring you and offering you compliments in front of your friends?

Simple yet consistent praise for your boyfriend out in public, when you’re with your friends and family, would make him treasure you more.

Praise him on how he treats you, something he has achieved at work, or his character; let them know how proud you are of him and see the magic of love in return.

Undemanding acts of compassion, admiration, and kindness like this would make him treat you like a queen and someone he can’t imagine living without.

Laughter Can Break Spells

A couple by the beach

Much like us women who adore a partner that makes us laugh, it’s the same for men, or maybe even more!

Most would agree that men find funny women undeniably attractive as much as we find them.

Regardless, it makes him want to spend more time with you, and a good and consistent laugh when you’re together will help you create that perfect strong bond you’ve been missing out on.

No, you don’t have to start writing funny materials or train to be a comedian but seek to have more funny moments together.

It could be watching hilarious shows when you’re with each other, being playful, or sharing funny stories that happened to you.

Creating that perfect playful atmosphere where smiles and laughs are shared and being happy together will make him want to be around you more.

Offering Space

The course to make your boyfriend obsessed doesn’t call for a complete change; rather, having self-respect and knowing your self-worth by working on things that can be adjusted to change in order to be a better lover.

Sometimes, people do not let each other breath by wanting to be together 24/7.

While wanting to be with the person you love at all times shows how much you love them, we’re all human beings, and it gets exhausting.

Not degrading other women, but be the change and set a different course. Offer him his space and encourage him to have some quality time with his friends or colleagues.

Expert advice: Having good ‘social status’ can often be highly attractive to men. Studies have shown that women who have some degree of independence are attractive.

Being Expressive When It’s About Him

How to make him obsessed with you

Much like complimenting him in front of people he cares about, when you’re alone, make eye contact and do not hesitate to compliment him on what you like the most about him.

Offer your boyfriend your undivided attention and give him genuine appreciation.

Being expressive about your feelings toward him will surely make him feel special and motivated and boost his self-esteem, strengthening your love for each other!

Related: Mottos to live by

Being Flirtatious Always Helps!

A guy walking toward a girl

Just like in the early days of the relationship, the flirty energy and light tease can spark or keep the romance truly alive and fun to be in!

Do not be afraid that he’ll not be interested. After all, he is a guy, and one thing guys love more than a faithful woman is a flirtatious partner.

It could be as simple as flirty texts or leaving cute notes for him to find; working on your flirtatious attribute would keep him craving for you for more.

Staying Attractive Is Your Weapon

A woman being flirty! How to make him obsessed with you...

Let’s be honest; while emotional connection, attitude, and personality are all major aspects of having a healthy relationship, physical attraction cannot be disregarded.

On the other hand, doesn’t it boost your confidence when your man is stunned by how good or how hot you look in a particular situation?

Furthermore, when you attract other guys by how good you look, men feel superior and content that you’re with them and take pride in showing you off!

Remember, your man’s lust for you isn’t your enemy but an ally in making him obsessed with you.

So try making an effort on your appearance, and dress to impress. However, making yourself attractive doesn’t mean losing yourself and being uncomfortable in your own skin.

Try to find a balance and not overdo yourself.

Related: Signs of cheating

Vulnerability Is Not A Weakness

A couple with locked hands

What have you heard or thought would happen when you’re vulnerable in a relationship?

We live in a cruel world where most other men or just people, in general, take advantage of vulnerability.

However, we’re not talking about strangers but someone you truly trust.

If you want to make your boyfriend obsessed over you, maybe start with being vulnerable as much as you are confident.

Show him the true you; let him see your imperfections as much as you show your perfections. Being vulnerable means completely opening yourself up, even though it may seem terrifying.

Men are natural protectors, so let his hero instinct kick in and offer him the opportunity to protect you. Men love it when they have something to protect.

He’ll feel needed, wanted and have a purpose when it comes to you.

Show Your Appreciation With Gifts

Love signs! Here's how to make him obsessed with you.

To make your boyfriend obsessed, you honestly do not need to gift him materialistic things.

However, offering him something truly from the heart to show your appreciation for him is a good place to start.

It could be making his favorite meal for the day as a sign of gratitude for always being there for you or an engraved and personalized object that he will cherish forever.

Gifts are always appreciated; receiving them from someone we truly love is extremely special!

Related: Platonic soulmates

Let Him Be Independent

Find it in yourself to let him be himself. What do you mean by that, you might ask.

Do you ever find yourself or see people in relationships constantly correcting or trying to change their significant other, leaving no room for them to be themselves?

While it’s certainly okay to correct when your partner makes a visible mistake, let them be free and always be their own person.

Since you’re not his parents but his supporter, accept him for who he is and do not try to control him, his life, or his decisions.

Instead, be his defender, supporter, and admirer at all times.

Eventually, this action will keep your relationship stronger and make your boyfriend obsessed with you.

Find Ways To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

Last but not least, find exciting ways to spice up your love life and keep him wanting more.

It could be trying out your favorite fantasies together, discovering kinks you didn’t know you had, or exploring new fetishes together, do not limit yourself to the regular stuff.

This will easily make him obsessed with you and constantly crave your touch!

Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

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