I got the question the other day, “Ryan, what are the stages of a karmic relationship? And how do I know if I’m in one?” That’s a great question! The karmic relationship stages are easy to identify.
But first, we should probably mention what people think a “karmic relationship” is and why it’s becoming increasingly more popular to call a relationship this.
The soul mate, twin flame, and karmic relationship conundrum…
My personal advice is to take a look at the relationship and its maturity-level. For example, are the two of you in alignment? If one of you owns a home and the other does not—that’s misalignment. If you have a job but he doesn’t—that’s misalignment.
It’s important to be on the same level. If you’re not, you may be misinterpreting passion or lust for something that’s karmic. Studies have linked this concept of a karmic idea to things that we generally can’t explain. Similar studies have also linked personality alignment to long-term passion (for better or worse—how this has an impact on a relationship).
What does this all mean? It could mean that you’re thinking you’re in a “karmic relationship,” when you’re truly in a bad relationship (or toxic relationship).
Disclaimer: It’s important to recognize when your love relationship is turning negative. Here is a guide from News in Health to help identify when and how that could be happening.
The stages of a karmic relationship
Here are the general stages of your karmic relationship:
At this point the two of you feel like “you’ve just met the person of your dreams.” It could be a strong emotional and physical connection. One that you’ve potentially never felt before. It could be a very highly heightened sense of emotions when the two of you touch.
It’s important to recognize that not all love happens in this way. In fact, healthy relationships often begin as friendships.
This may feel like the following:
- The two of you are connecting and talking non-stop.
- There’s a heightened sense of connection when the two of you touch or get romantic.
- A sense of “obsession” begins to take hold. And could distract the two of you away from everything else happening in your life.
- Potential discussion could occur too early about “the future.”
Usually, around the 3-month mark, the first stage of the relationship will begin to mature. This is when the heightened sense of physical connection could begin to feel “normal.” At this point, the two of you could begin to question the relationship.
This may not happen in the way that you initially think. It may come in the form of wondering, “Why isn’t the things we were doing a few weeks ago feeling the same?”
It will get eclipsed by the concept that the two of you are committed to this feeling.
You may start to do some of the following:
- Struggle with the new “normalcy” that’s happening.
- Have a sense of needing to have a better life-balance.
- Having difficult conversations or potentially having your first “argument.”
This will be a strong sign that you’re leading to the next stage.
In this balance stage, the two of you are going to try and maintain this relationship while maintaining everything else in life. There’s a harsh reality around the corner, that the two of you are struggling to do that while maintaining the needs of the connection that you initially felt.
For example, one small step in the wrong direction could lead to “world-ending” feelings from one person to the other. This is coming from your codependency on one another. And it’s not happening in a healthy way.
These things may start to bubble up:
- Larger arguments that lead to “world-ending” feelings.
- A stronger sense of codependency that isn’t healthy.
- Signs of trust beginning to break down.
- Struggle with maintaining other components of your life in a healthy and balanced fashion.
The breaking point
There’s been “enough” for the both of you. The breaking point will happen when “all feels lost” and the two of you need a break. This is when there’s a struggle with both the relationships “break up” and the period of time when the two of you are apart.
These types of relationships typically struggle with “on and off again” dependency. It’s not healthy and it has a long-term negative impact on your relationship as well as future relationships.
It’s time to break the cord. Here’s what you should do:
- Commit to having a healthier mindset going into relationships.
- Address why and how you’re balancing the physical connection with your emotional connection.
- Determine why you’re evaluating the relationship by factors that aren’t going to lead to a successful long-term relationship.
What are the signs that I’m in a karmic relationship?
You’re going to know the signs right away, most likely. But you’ll need to get some affirmation that your gut instinct is correct. Here are a few to consider:
1. There’s a heavy amount of codependency—the discovery karmic relationship stage!
Regardless of what you might think, someone “needing you all the time” is a really strong red flag in a relationship.
2. You feel addicted to the other individual—the roadblock karmic relationship stage!
This is not a great sign. You should be able to miss someone and feel connected to them without having to feel like it’s a “life or d#ath” situation.
3. You’re feeling obsessive or jealous all the time—the balance karmic relationship stage!
When you’re feeling this way, it’s a sign that there’s no trust or mutual respect within the relationship. And without it, daily activities in life are going to feel jaded and insecure.
One of the two of you are going to experience strong and emotional signs of insecurity.
Common questions and answers.
Why are karmic relationships and toxic relationships somewhat related?
In a karmic relationship, a person may feel a type of “déjà vù” with their partner. Causing them to feel a strong sense of connection with them.
When these situations come into fruition, the person is more likely to go back to repeated relationships that have some negative or even potentially “abusive” in nature.
Forth, A., Sezlik, S., Lee, S., Ritchie, M., Logan, J., & Ellingwood, H. (2022, November). Toxic relationships: The experiences and effects of psychopathy in romantic relationships. International journal of offender therapy and comparative criminology. Retrieved January 23, 2023, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9527357/
Passionate love in long-term romantic relationships: The role of four … (n.d.). Retrieved January 23, 2023, from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/342411269_Passionate_Love_in_Long-term_Romantic_Relationships_The_Role_of_Four_Primary_Temperament_Dimensions The emergence of “karmic” concept and the theory of karma in Untouchable. (n.d.). Retrieved January 23, 2023, from Researchgate.com
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.