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Personal Questions to Ask a Girl

What are personal questions to ask a girl? Women are often approached by men. Potentially a little too much. It’s important that when you start to get to know a woman, that you pick up on her body language and social queues. For example, if she’s pointing her toes toward you, this is a good sign. If she’s making eye contact, an even better sign. And the inverse would show you that maybe she’s needing a little space.

Disclaimer: If you’re struggling to make connections with others and are feeling like this is a serious problem, it can be beneficial to seek the help of a licensed therapist, counselor, or life coach. For a good resource, visit the Mental Health America’s list.

My experience with building friendships/relationships…

If you’re asking any type of questions to a person you want to build a friendship with, then my story is for you… I was awkward. An odd little kid who maybe didn’t connect with too many adults or other children…

I wanted friends pretty badly! I mean, very badly! Learning the right types of questions to ask to build relationships was the key for me… And I hope it is for you, too!
My best tip! It only takes 30 seconds of courage to ask someone a question and see where it goes. Remember that!

How to get personal with a girl

—Personal questions to ask a girl

It’s quite simple to develop a connection with a man. I hate to suggest that it’s harder with women, although it is. Men appreciate being noticed just as much as women. And to make them feel seen, questions that are tailored to their lifestyle will do better than generic prompts.

Spend time learning about the person you’re interested in before you go further. Action steps before you start asking questions:

  • What is she interested in?
  • Does she show interest toward certain things and not toward others?
  • Do you know who she is?
  • What are things that you’ve seen her dislike?
  • What does she spend her time doing?

While it might seem a little creepy, all you’re doing is getting an idea of who the person is before you start asking questions.

Personal questions to ask a girl
Personal questions to ask a girl

Related: Random questions to ask a girl

A recent study by Harvard reported that 36% of all Americans feel “serious loneliness.” Many of which (almost 33% of that group) revealed that they don’t feel like they have close friends. This study goes to show that even if you’re a man looking to connect with a woman, there’s a good chance that the other person is going to have a positive response to your attempts.

In short, life is beautiful, don’t be afraid to try and make connections. Yes, rejection hurts, although it is a common part of building relationships with any person.

Related: Questions to ask your crush

When is the right time to ask personal questions

Women don’t like to be approached in situations where they are going to feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. For example, if they look like they’re in a rush to pick up their Starbucks coffee, it’s not the best time to ask personal questions. Although, if they’re sitting down with you and looking you in the eye, that would be the most opportune time.

Here are some ideas to ensure that the timing is right:

  • Ask the other person out for coffee.
  • Ensure the two of you have enough time to have a meaningful conversation.
  • Use moments when the attention of the other person is directly on you
    • I.e., avoid situations where they are looking at their phone.

15 deep personal questions to ask her

When the moment is right, it’s best to use these perfect personal questions that will get her thinking. Our questions have been tested to create meaningful conversations and help two people establish connections:

  1. What’s something that happened in your childhood that truly defined who you are today?
  2. What’s something that’s inspiring you today?
  3. Where do you picture your life being in the next 5-years?
  4. How do you handle those situations if things don’t go according to plan?
  5. Do you have anyone in your life that you would say is a negative influence?
  6. Who best defined who you are today, your mother or your father?
  7. What are your thoughts on religion? Do you practice religion?
  8. What parts of modern society are not doing us any good?
  9. What do you like to spend your free time doing that would never become a career?
  10. If you were put into a wheelchair tomorrow, how do you think that you would handle that situation?
  11. Where do you hope that your life never ends up going?
  12. What would be your greatest fear in life, and how would you avoid it?
  13. Where do you go when you’re feeling sad?
  14. Where do you like to go when you’re feeling the happiest?
  15. What brings you joy right now?
Personal questions to ask a girl
Personal questions to ask a girl

15 really personal questions to ask her

If you want to flirt with her, it’s best to know that she’s interested in advance. Don’t ask these questions unless you’re certain that she’s ready for your forwardness. If you’re unsure, it’s best not to ask in the first place. Although, if you’re feeling like it’s the right time (she’s always given you social queue’s that she’s interested in you), try these out:

  1. What’s the best way that you like to feel loved?
  2. Who was the last crush that you had? Who was it?
  3. What was your last relationship like and why did it end?
  4. Who do you find the most attractive?
  5. Which parts of a guy/girl do you find to be the most attractive?
  6. If someone were to touch one body part of yours, which part would you like to get touched?
  7. When is the last time that you felt butterflies in the pit of your stomach?
  8. Can men and women truly be “just friends?”
  9. If someone thought that you were really handsome and attractive, would you want them to tell you?
  10. Did you ever have a crush on a teacher?
  11. What’s the dirtiest thing that you’ve ever done?
  12. Did you ever make out with someone at your high school?
  13. Who was the first person that you kissed and what was it like?
  14. When you picture yourself growing old with someone, what do they look like?
  15. What’s the sexiest thing that’s ever happened to you? And how did it change you?

How to deliver the best personal question prompt to a girl

Trying to build a connection with someone is challenging. Yes, it is! Although, here are some simple tips that can help to increase your chances of getting a positive response.

1. Be confident

As a guy, delivering any type of confidence to a women can be tough. Watch your body language. Stand straight, put your shoulders back, and don’t make any awkward hand movements.

Related: Weird questions to ask a girl

2. Make eye contact

Don’t keep your eyes down to the left or not facing him. Make direct eye contact when asking the question.

Related: Flirty questions to ask a girl

3. Be prepared for a response

Women appreciate when they are being heard. To show her that you care, make sure you’re not distracted. Don’t look at your phone or other people around you. Watch her lips as she expresses herself. And take what she’s saying very seriously.


Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

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