I had a friend ask me the other day, “Ryan, what is a platonic soulmate? Is it real?” Well, I love the topic of relationships and soulmates… So I decided to answer.
We often hear the phrase, ‘finding your soulmate,’ come up whenever people talk about their life partners or desire to find the love of their lives. However, the term soulmate does not just imply romance. It’s a broader concept that transcends generic human relationships like marriage or friendship.
That’s when we understand that a true platonic soulmate is one whose significance in your life goes beyond any other relationship you may have in life.
When you picture a soulmate as someone more than a romantic partner or married spouse, you realize that we all yearn for such a connection in life. In fact, we hope for many friendships and relationships to measure up to such beauty and significance.
However, a platonic soulmate is someone that may not fit traditional definitions of what a soulmate means. So, today, let’s unpack what this special relationship means, what it entails, and whether you may already have yours in your life.
Before we dig in, my experience with a platonic soulmate…
Here’s the thing—sometimes you don’t want this to be the case. Sometimes you want the love to be more than platonic…
I was in a few relationships where this was the case. What I can tell you is that good communication is often key to overcoming this. Whether you want it to be platonic or not. Talk to each other… There’s a good chance he/she might feel the same way about you.
Platonic Soulmate: What it is and isn’t
Let’s uncover the layers of confusion that often revolves around the term platonic soulmate.
So, What is a Platonic Soulmate Anyway?
A platonic soulmate is someone in your life with whom you share a unique relationship, filled with a lot of love, affection, and compatibility, but without romantic feelings. So, you may consider your spouse a romantic soulmate, but platonic soulmates move beyond the institution of marriage. So, your platonic soulmate may be a childhood friend, a close confidante, a bestie, or a family member with whom you share an incomparable bond.
The nature of your worldly relationship with the person doesn’t matter a lot (Eg. Friend, colleague, family, etc.). What matters is your loving bond and unbreakable connection with the person. Platonic soulmates share this special relationship that’s almost a spiritual connection, different from sexual feelings or romantic attraction.
Why It Confuses Some People
The close and distinct bond that platonic soulmates share may confuse people into believing that they are romantic soulmates. But any sort of romantic relationship present in the connection means that it is not a platonic soulmate relationship.
For instance, spouses in a marriage may be each other’s romantic partners, so they are not platonic soulmates. No matter how special the bond is, any romantic relationship between two people is not platonic anymore.
What it isn’t
Temporary flings and one-night stands naturally do not come under this connection. Admiring a crush from a distance or fancying an acquaintance are not platonic connections either. Friends in your social circle who you are close with but do not share a timeless, untold bond do not qualify either. They may be very close friends, but they’re not soulmates (even though the relationship is platonic in these cases).
To sum up, any regular friendship, sexual partner, or romantic relationship falls outside of a platonic soulmate connection.
With platonic soul connections, you’ll feel the same sense of belongingness, an instant connection, deep mutual understanding, and a platonic intimacy that no other relationship exhibits.
Expert advice: Understand that both men and women differ when it comes to the idea of platonic relationships and how ‘good’ they are for their future.
Do Platonic Soulmates Exist for Everyone?
Yes. We believe so.
All of us have the potential to develop a soulmate bond with a special someone on a purely platonic level. This deep connection is unmistakable; your soul recognizes this link with the other person because it’s so real, genuine, and overwhelming.
That doesn’t mean everyone finds this intimate connection in life. Sadly, there are individuals who may live out their entire lifetimes without ever encountering this unexplainable connection with their other soul partner.
However, a fulfilling romantic soulmate infuses a different meaning and purpose to your life that’s as significant and special.
The good news is that the cosmos conspires to allow non-romantic soulmates to cross each other’s paths. So, stay confident that you’ll run into yours sometime in your life.
More importantly, you may already have this platonic soulmate in your life without realizing it. We meet so many new people in life and retain so many old friends that it’s easy for our platonic soulmate to pass under your soul radar.
There’s a good chance that your soul partner is already part of your social or family circle. It may sound confusing at first, but once you learn the signs and indications, your platonic soulmate will be as clear as day.
Related: Relationship red flags
18 Signs That Show Your Platonic Soulmate May Already Be in Your Life
There’s no relationship trait or type of bond that single-handedly confirms if the person is your platonic soulmate.
Instead, you’ll notice a pattern and collection of connections that stand out whenever you’re with this person. Observing these traits may allow you to verify whether the person is a platonic soulmate in the truest sense.
Remember, you may find this special bond in a friend or family member. Do not limit the possibility of finding your platonic soulmate to mysterious strangers or future acquaintances.
Keeping an eye out for specific traits that define your relationship with a special person will help identify platonic soulmates in your life.
You Can Be Yourself Completely
The world today forces you to keep up with social niceties and rules of interaction that can seem overbearing and exhausting. You can be your authentic self in your platonic soulmate’s company without any pretensions or reservations.
Your genuine self comes out during the conversations, and there are no masks deceiving each other when you have that soul connection.
There’s a good chance that several people in your life fit this bill. Continue reading the other signs to see if you observe them too in these relationships.
You Encourage a Growth Mindset in Each Other
Your platonic soulmate will push you towards a healthy mind and constant development. The most genuine platonic soulmates share a relationship where you both care about the other person’s growth and well-being.
It’s a noble sentiment to share and one that you can extend to your romantic soulmate. This one’s a good example of how healthy platonic soulmates can be supportive romantic soulmates to their spouses and partners too.
Related: The dreaded friendzone
You Enjoy a Non-Judgemental Connection
You feel comfortable, safe, and accepted in the other’s presence. Your deep connection at the soul level means that outward appearances or personal habits do not bother the other person. It’s a space where neither of you feels judged.
There’s no secret too embarrassing to announce or no memory too personal to share.
You Support Each Other Constantly
You’re both each other’s go to person whenever one of you experiences a low phase in life. This trait stands out among others because it separates platonic soulmates from even the most romantic relationships. This person is may already be a gifted advisor and silent supporter whenever you face struggles in life.
Is there a best friend you always turn to during a breakup? Maybe a family member is always the first person to show up when you’re devastated. Consider whom you turn to for a listening ear or who you show support to the most during tough times.
You Share A Mutual Sense of Humor—Sure Sign of a Platonic Relationship
There’s nothing in life that brings together two souls together faster than an amusing joke. Platonic soulmates often get their funny bones tickled by the same type of humor. There’s always a funny anecdote or story you can share without squatting in awkward silence with this person.
Many times, people don’t share the same sense of humor with their romantic soulmates. That doesn’t mean partners and spouses don’t laugh together. But the truly hilarious stuff usually happens within special circles or friends with whom your bond is different.
You Can Sit Together in Silence
A true platonic soulmate understands that words aren’t the only way to treasure the other’s company. You can sit in silence for hours without feeling like something’s missing.
In comparison, other friendships require constant chatter and blabbering just to kill time in each other’s presence.
Finally, when one of you is ready to speak, the other person will enjoy listening to whatever you have to say. You may even proceed to finish the other’s sentences. It’s truly a relationship where less is more.
You Met at the Right Time
This one’s more connected to chance and odds than intentional design. But some relationships feel like they began at just the right time. You may realize in hindsight that you met your platonic soulmate during a time when you needed that effortless connection the most.
For soulmates from the opposite sex, the initial meeting may have involved some sexual interest too. Maybe one partner mistook the instant connection as an encouragement to be romantically involved.
But you both soon realized that it was platonic love and that you would become an incomparable best friend to the other person.
You Share a Palette—A Very Sure Sign of a Platonic Relationship
Your platonic soulmate loves those quirky food choices that you thought only you loved.
Whether it’s chowing down on street food or wining and dining in a fancy restaurant, they’re your soul partner for everything food.
They Fix Your Loneliness
You never feel like you’re alone when you’re around that special platonic soulmate. They make you feel accepted and appreciated. They’re always reachable and merely a text away even if you’re in different locations.
So, you feel like you have an ever-supportive partner on speed dial.
People Think You’re Dating
Friends and family think they’re your romantic partner because of the obvious bond and connection you enjoy. This suspicion is especially true if you’re a member of the opposite sex or you’re gay and belong to the same gender.
The two of you may not have any romantic or sexual interest in each other. But you still enjoy leading people on and keeping them guessing.
You Enjoy Guaranteed Loyalty
The soul connection between you and your platonic soulmate means that your loyalty is never in doubt or question. Each one can rely on the other unconditionally and expect the utmost loyalty from the other.
This trait between platonic soulmates stands out because most ‘friends’ in today’s world can turn on you if it serves them.
You Feel Incomplete in Their Absence—Platonic Relationship Red Flag!
Whenever your platonic soulmate is away, you feel like a portion of your soul is also missing. The genuine connection between you feels like you’re each a single half of a greater whole.
So, the absence of one makes the other feel like something vital is missing.
You’re Never Tense Around Them
A true platonic soulmate has the ability to make you feel at ease and safe in their presence. Partners struggling with anxiety or stress find solace in their soulmate’s company.
All the unpleasant feelings and overbearing weight of worries seem to disappear when your platonic soulmate is around.
You Feel Like Friends From A Past Life
Not everyone believes in reincarnation or the concept of multiple lives. But you both feel like you’ve known each other from the past, even if the friendship is fairly recent.
The effortless and strong connection makes it feel like you’ve only resumed a relationship that already existed.
It’s almost surreal and clearly removed from ordinary relationships with other friends.
You’re Each Other’s Helping Hands—Big Platonic Relationship Red Flag!!!
Whenever either of you needs assistance, the other is always present with a genuinely helpful attitude.
Whether it’s moving to a new apartment, dating advice, being a plus one, or lending money for gas, your platonic soulmate always doubles as your guardian angel.
You’re Always Available For the Other Person
Your platonic soulmate feels responsible whenever you need company or a conversation. Of course, it’s not their duty to always be available. But you both make an effort to squeeze out time for each other.
You never spend movie night alone because they always show up when you date ditches you (but not in a romantic way).
You Never Run Out of Topics
Your platonic soulmate knows that silence is golden, but a juicy topic always fires up your conversations. Leave it to your soulmate to come up with exciting updates and stuff to chit-chat on whenever you get together.
If they don’t have any interesting topics, you’re the one who whips up a thrilling issue to discuss.
You Keep Each Other Grounded
Whenever you get ahead of yourself or feel overwhelmed, your platonic soulmate always rushes in with a reality check that knocks some sense into you.
They ensure that you’re the bigger and better person during arguments with others or dial back the emotions when things seem overwhelming.
A Language Only A Soulmate Would Know—Big Platonic Relationship Red Flag!!!
From the moment you met your platonic soulmate, you both knew that communication would be a breeze with the other person.
Even now, you feel natural and free to talk about worries, concerns, and ambitions. Sometimes it feels like the two of you have your own language and vocabulary that others don’t understand.
Closing Note on Platonic Relationships
Your platonic soulmate transforms the way you see life, love, and relationships. If you haven’t met yours yet, they may already be in your life waiting for you to reach out.
Take note of these signs and signals that reveal the special connection that only your soulmate will show you.
Inside this article
Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.
