Looking for new or existing relationship questions to ask? There is hardly anyone on the planet who doesn’t want to be in a relationship. However, getting to know someone may require a couple of relationship questions to consider before going the whole haul. Here are some pointers that you can ask yourself and the person whom you think can make you happy.
Deep questions to ask your partner
1. Where do you see this heading?
2. Are you in it for the long haul?
3. Do you find religion to be an important factor in a relationship?
4. Do you want children? If not now, someday?
5. What are your views on the LGBTQ community?
6. Are you financially sound or are you reeling in debt?
7. I notice that you are not comfortable talking about your previous relationship. What was it like?
8. How long were you in a committed relationship?
9. Do you believe in polyamory?
10. Was your childhood pleasant?
11. Do you believe in monogamy?
12. How do you weigh your priorities? Will your parents and family be the priority or the two of us?
13. Would you go out on a limb if I was exploited professionally, personally, or in any other way?
14. Would you help someone in distress?
15. Is money the main objective, or are there other issues that matter?
16. How important is family?
Related: Relationship red flags
New questions
—Relationship questions for a new relationship
17. Have you ever been in love before? Have you been hurt? If yes, how did you heal?
18. How is your relationship with your family, friends, and colleagues?
19. What is your favorite dish? Are you open to trying out various cuisines?
20. Do you have siblings? How is your relationship with them?
21. Would you resort to anger to sort out the issue if someone bothered us? Or would you discuss the situation calmly and move along?
22. Have you ever been taken advantage of?
23. What would you quantify as a great way for us to get to know each other – a quiet space, or a bustling pub?
24. Do you keep in touch with your ex?
25. How often do you have a drink?
26. What made you interested in me, anyway?
27. Do you live with your parents?
28. So, what do you do for a living?
29. Are you grounded in religion?
30. Do you believe in marriage?
31. What does it feel like to go out together?
Long-distance questions
—Long-distance elationship questions for a new relationship
32. Have you ever cheated on anyone?
33. Has anyone cheated on you?
34. Can you manage to be apart from me?
35. Do you want children? No? Is there a reason you don’t want kids?
36. Are you open to adoption?
37. What is your take on same-sex marriage?
38. What are your political views?
39. If this relationship gets serious, can we follow different religions?
40. Are you close to your family?
41. Do you believe in the sanctity of marriage?
42. Have you been married before?
43. Do you have kids from previous relationships?
44. Have you ever cheated on your previous partner/s?
45. Are you still hung up on the ex?
Tough relationship questions
46. Is there something wrong with you medically?
47. If we cannot conceive, are you open to surrogacy, adoption, or any other medically stable option?
48. Have you ever been institutionalized?
49. What is your stand on abortion? Are you pro-life or pro-choice?
50. How was your childhood?
51. Do you believe a woman needs to be validated by a man to get by?
52. Are you willing to marry a person who has been raped?
53. What is your stand on female rights?
54. Are you religious? Have you found yourself questioning others’ views?
55. Do you believe in the afterlife?
56. What is a priority in a relationship?
57. Are we free to have some time out away from us with friends or family?
58. Can I continue with my career, even if the biological clock is ticking? Will you encourage me along the way?
Relationship truth or dare questions
59. How many people have you been intimate with before me?
60. Do you have any quirks that I need to know before going out with you?
61. Do you feel that I don’t measure up, and you should be with someone else?
62. Have you ever farted in public and pretended it, wasn’t you?
63. Did you ever tell your parents about your first crush? Was it a close relative or a friend?
64. Have you passed out in public?
65. Have you ragged someone and pretended that it was someone else?
66. Have you picked your nose in public?
67. Have you ever bullied anyone for fun?
68. For how long can you go off social media?
69. Are you a secret hoarder? If yes, what do you hoard, anyway?
Serious relationship questions
70. Are you insecure about anything?
71. Have you ever been locked up for a crime?
72. Do you respect my family and friends?
73. Is there something about me that annoys you?
74. Do you want me to change?
75. Are you open to moving to another country?
76. What is your opinion about living together?
77. Do you have a good relationship with your family?
78. Do you have any physical or emotional scars that we can work on mending together?
79. Are you willing to meet me halfway during our relationship?
80. Is marriage the goal? Or does getting hitched make you sweaty?
81. Have you been in a committed relationship that you are not over?
82. What are your long-term plans? Are you financially independent?
83. Will you accept me if you knew that I was taken advantage in the past? I would accept you.
84. Would you consider a relationship with someone who is bisexual by nature?
85. Impotency is not the issue, honesty is, so tell me is this a problem with you? Intimacy is about love and companionship.
Relationship questions for a boyfriend
86. Do you believe in monogamy?
87. How old were you when you first fell in love?
88. What stresses you out the most?
89. Do you like kids?
90. How crazy were high school and university?
91. Am I your best friend? Can you tell me anything?
92. Do you think I am fat, or perfectly rounded?
93. Are you willing to love me, even with my noticeable scars?
94. What do you love about me?
95. Why do you need to know my every move? Are you a control freak?
96. Do you think a woman’s place is at home, while a man brings in the bacon? Or not?
97. Do you believe we are meant for each other?
98. Is romance an important part of a relationship?
Expert advice: Nancy Ryan, LMFT, suggests that you’ll know when you’re in a good relationship when those social behavior traits don’t stop. The blushing or heart rate increases.
Questions for a girlfriend
99. Will you love me even if I am not financially sound?
100. Do you have any past regrets?
101. Have you gotten over your ex? How do I measure up?
102. On a scale of 1-10, what is it about me that you like? What would you want to change?
103. What is the most annoying habit you want to kick?
104. How is your relationship with your family? What are they like?
105. Is our relationship missing anything? If you think so, what can be done to improve the relationship?
106. Do you expect the relationship to culminate in marriage?
107. Do you want kids? Or would you prefer to concentrate on your career?
108. How many boyfriends have you had in the past?
Questions for couples
109. Didn’t we fall in love at the very beginning? What is the problem now?
110. Since there are some chinks in the relationship that need to be ironed out, is therapy okay to strengthen the relationship?
111. Do you like public displays of emotions? Are you cool about holding hands in public and the occasional hug and kiss?
112. I have so many pressures that I bring work home. Is that okay with you?
113. Why don’t you share your worries with me?
114. Why is the relationship in a financial tailspin? Have the debts been paid? Have we been over the top and mismanaged our home finances?
115. Do I not appeal to you anymore? Does my weight gain/loss disgust you?
116. Is it necessary to keep telling me what to do at every stage of the relationship?
Do you doubt what I bring to the table?
117. Have you been sharing private issues with friends or family?
118. Is it time to go on a break?
Questions about trust
119. Is trust important? Can you get over your past quirks and accept that we are in
this relationship for the long haul?
120. Why should you keep in touch with your ex? Isn’t there a reason you are not together anymore?
121. Are you going to be there for me when I need you?
122. Why is it necessary to establish boundaries?
123. How can we get out of this funk?
124. Why have your priorities changed from the beginning to now?
125. Is the relationship worth fighting for, or are you ready to cut and run?
126. How compatible are we, anyway?
127. Is it not a marriage of equals anymore?
128. Have you ever cheated on me?
129. Who made you judge and jury to decide what I should or should not wear?
130. Why do you make me rethink every decision I make?
131. How long are you willing to go to ensure the relationship works, even though there are issues to iron out?
132. So what if your parents were alcoholics? How should it factor in with our relationship?
133. What was your childhood like? Were you happy, or was it traumatic? Going forward, how can you improve your relationship based on your past?
134. Why are you a jealous person?
Expert advice: Elli Borden (BA, RP, CPP) suggests that body language is still an important factor in maintaining relationships. Make prolonged eye contact and physical contact, and stay close to each other through physical intimacy.
Basic but essential relationship questions
135. How do our past relationships define our future success?
136. What was your favorite childhood memory?
137. What can make us have a successful relationship?
138. Do you think we have the same love language?
139. What are three things that could help us have a healthy relationship?
140. What does the perfect date night look like to you?
141. What was your first impression of me when we first met?
142. Do you think our sex life needs jazzing up?
143. How can we keep our spark alive?
144. What was your favorite subject in middle school?
145. Who was the first relationship you ever had?
146. What’s your favorite movie you never told me about?
147. Do you ever feel anxious around me?
148. What is one secret you’ve never told anyone?
149. When was the best compliment you’ve ever received?
Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.
