I grew up with a few brothers. And yeah, I would say it was always a fun time around the house whenever we’d be roasting into each other. My friend Brian asked me a question the other night, he said, “Ryan, I know you talk a lot about relationships but what about brothers—do you know any good roasts to say to your brother?” Well, of course I do, Brian!
Roasting someone is generally a fun way to “rib” them and make them feel a little bit… well, embarrassed about themselves. Let’s jump right into it…
First, my experience with roasting my brother…
Okay, so I’ve had some really good roasts and then some really bad ones. What constitutes a good roast that I would say to my brother? Honestly, I would say it was something that didn’t hurt his feelings.
I mean, I love my brothers. And so any of them that I’m trying to have a good comeback to, isn’t really intended to make them hate me. Or dislike themselves.
It’s really just all about having fun and games. And that’s my advice here—make sure that when you roast your sibling that you’re doing it in a friendly way. All the roasts that I’ve come up with are pretty dumb. And dumb in a good way!
21 roasts to say to your brother
Here are some funny responses and roasts you can say to your brother:
1. I’m sorry I can’t heart you over that bad breath
When he probably doesn’t have bad breath but it’s funny way.
Related: Most likely to questions for siblings
2. If I remember correctly, I’m moms favorite
Just a funny way to rib him and let him know that you’re the favorite.
3. Go ask our parents—they hate you anyway
Wow, a bit harsh—but still kind of funny. Most likely, he’ll go crying to mom.
4. Did you eat garlic this morning?
Another funny way of saying that he’s got some bad breath! Can’t think over that thing…
5. We should have given you up for adoption earlier
Haha! I mean, he probably should have anyway…
6. I’m pretty sure you weren’t legally born into this family
When you just don’t see him fitting in with the rest of you.
Related: Questions to ask your siblings
7. How is it that you passed the second grade?
A funny ‘dumb joke’ to say against him!
8. Wait, what? I can’t hear you over that noise you’re making with your mouth
You just can’t understand the words that are coming out of his mouth!
9. I’m sorry I can’t hear you over that giant zit you have on your nose
You’re distracted and you are just trying to help!
10. All the words you just said, I can’t remember—I’m just staring at your bad haircut
Another funny comeback for when he just has something going on you can’t put your finger on!
11. When did you decide to go to dumb school and come back?
Haha, a funny one that will always get a laugh.
12. Is this why you can’t get a girlfriend?
A kind of roast that leaves a burn mark afterward!
13. If we were twins, I would have ate you in the womb
Woah! But also, hilarious!
14. I can’t understand you—I don’t speak dummy
Something is happening here—the words coming out of his mouth just aren’t lining up.
15. When did you learn to speak?
What grade was it again? Haha! Another funny way to say that he’s dumb.
16. There’s no way I can focus with that booger on your face
There’s just something going on with your face and I can’t put my finger on it.
17. Is this why your girlfriend broke up with you
Just a honest question—did she do break up with you because of this behavior? Haha!
18. This is why people pick on you at school
Hopefully people don’t actually pick on your brother at school—that wouldn’t be cool!
19. When are you going to learn English?
Another great comeback and roast for when he’s saying something super dumb to you.
20. Who taught you to be this dumb?
It wasn’t you that taught him how to be this way… that’s for sure.
21. Are you absolutely sure that you’re biologically related to this family?
Just another funny way for him to feel like the way he’s acting is pretty silly.
22. You’re using your mouth but I can’t understand anything you’re saying
The jokes never get old when you’re referring to his inability to speak English! LOL!
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