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40 STRONG Signs a Man is Falling Out of Love

James, my friend that is always bugging me about relationship questions asked me a good one the other day. Saying, “Ryan, what are signs a man is falling out of love?” Well, he’s a man and wants to know this so he can tell whether or not he has a problem!

According to Dr. Helen Fisher at Rutgers University, romantic love can be broken down into three categories: lust, attraction, and attachment. That’s why the first question should be: can a man fall out of love with you? Well, yes, it can happen—especially if they’ve been hurt by you a little bit too much!

the science of love graph courtesy of harvard.edu
Courtesy of Harvard.edu

It’s possible that the guy (or you) in question is feeling some emotions that they can’t explain. Maybe they’re hurt by you and struggling to tell you. Or maybe they’re just feeling their hormones changing over time.

There’s really no way to tell unless you decide to sit down and communicate with them (or decide to reflect upon yourself—if you’re the guy in this equation!).

crying gif - signs a man is just falling out of love with you

40 Powerful Signs a Man is Falling Out of Love! NO FLUFF Ways to Tell!

Here are powerful ways to tell that he’s just falling out of love with you:

  1. He used to do romantic gestures that he no longer does.
  2. The good morning texts have stopped.
  3. You are no longer getting invites to big events in his life.
  4. The last person to know about something important tends to be you.
  5. Date night seems to have gone “out the window.”
  6. You’re feeling distance from him when you are not giving him distance.
  7. His personality seems to be changing and evolving. Now there are bad personality traits showing themselves.
  8. He’s beginning to get attracted to new hobbies or interests that aren’t like him.
  9. There’s no living up to the expectations that he has for you.
  10. The emotional connection (that feeling of love) seems to be falling apart.

More ways to tell! Signs a man is falling out of love with you…

  1. His priorities are aligned to other people and things that just seem more important.
  2. You can’t get him involved in talking about the relationship.
  3. You’re trying to set goals for the relationship, and he won’t engage with you.
  4. At night, he’d rather spend time watching TV than time talking with you.
  5. He’s begun to get a little lazy around the house.
  6. Acts of service that he used to do are no longer becoming something that he does.
  7. When you approach him about things that could be improved—he just says no.
  8. It feels like emotional “walls” have been put up in the relationship.
  9. Every time that you ask him to do something (even if it’s fun): the answer seems to be “no.”
  10. You’re generally sensing more resistance to you or ideas that you have than you did prior.
the science of love in the brain - signs a man is falling out of love with you
Courtesy of Harvard.edu

Not convinced? If you really want to find out… More ways he might be telling you something is wrong…

  1. He’s always yelling at you.
  2. The physical connection and intimacy seem to be falling apart.
  3. You felt like you were the center of his world before—now something or someone else has taken that spot.
  4. There’s a willingness to allow your feelings to be hurt.
  5. He’s always apologizing for someting that happened.
  6. It seems like the relationship can never be in full focus.
  7. There’s no consistency between the two of you for prolonged periods of time (issues with trust).
  8. He’s made some mistakes, but he won’t really take accountability for them.
  9. When he says sorry, he’s not really trying to earn your respect back or earn your forgiveness.
  10. Everything seems like “half” of the effort that it actually should be.
bart simpson sadness meme and gif

10 more signs that will help you find out what’s going on…

  1. You have to ask him to do things that you really shouldn’t have to ask.
  2. It seems like his friends or hobbies have started to become really important to him.
  3. His career or job has become more important, but he’s not told you how that will integrate into your shared life.
  4. When you discuss wanting to move the relationship forward—he just stares at you.
  5. There’s no engagement in the conversation—he’s on his phone a lot!
  6. At night he doesn’t want to cuddle or be near you.
  7. There’s a sense in the air that it’s always about him wanting to escape—either physically (like from the house) or emotionally (like in a discussion).
  8. When you share how you feel—or what you need/want in life—he’s very quiet and not engaged.
  9. Conversation starters have completely stopped—he’s become a little “too” comfortable with you.
  10. He seems to be on his phone a lot but won’t share why or what he’s spending his time on.

My Own Experience With Falling Out of Love…

My own experience has taught me that falling out of love CAN happen. Often, I don’t think that both people in the relationship really look at what they did to create the problem.

It’s usually a blame game. Who did what. And how did this happen? There’s really only one thing that you both need to know—it’s not working. Rather than break up, how about try to work on the relationship?

In my experience, I really had to emphasize why the two of us should be putting equal effort into the relationship. I was suggesting: it’s like trying to move a couch alone. I can’t really do it if you aren’t going to pick up your end!

If you’re feeling like the two of you are drifting apart: it’s time to get together (in person, not by text message) and discuss what’s happening. If he won’t do that with you—then that’s your ultimate sign that he has no intention of trying to make the relationship work.. In that case, move on!

Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

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