My friend Erin asked me a great question (like they always do!). She said, “Hey, Ryan… What are signs your boyfriend is losing interest? If I’m feeling like something just isn’t working these days—and it’s not me… How would I know?” Okay, Erin, you always ask the good questions!
At least at once point in all relationships, you end up wondering if your partner is losing their interest in you. It is normal to feel this way once you get past the initial stages of your relationships. Especially if you’re in a long term relationship, the sparks are meant to die down during some phases but this does not necessarily mean that your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore.
However, if you start noticing things like his blatant disinterest in you and your relationship over time, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship and get to the bottom of it.
Hopefully, you might be just over thinking or perhaps you just needed to talk or communicate more but if this leads to even bigger problems, it’s never the wrong choice to mutually decide to end the relationship if it has nothing left in store for either of you.
But before you decide on packing the bags, there are a few tell tale signs that indicate that your boyfriend is losing interest in you. Take a look at the list we’ve made and see if your relationship also resonates with some of these points.
7 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Losing Interest
Let’s hope this isn’t the case… But if it is… Here’s how you’ll know.
The Texts And Phone Calls Are Now Almost Nonexistent
At the beginning of any relationship, you end up talking for hours and hours on the phone without seeing an end to your conversations. It truly felt like you could talk for ages about anything and everything but lately, this had significantly reduced.
Now you hardly get a text back and phone calls are a rare occasion. This might be one of the first signs that your partner is slowly losing his interest in you or the relationship. It is important to note that mean have historically been known as not great communicators so perhaps your boyfriend just lacks a few communication skills.
But if he is still unresponsive when you’re the one always initiating the calls and texts, perhaps it’s time to sit down and have the dreaded chat.
You Are No Longer Intimate With Each Other
When you started seeing each other, every day was like a scene out of a romance novel or a movie but now there’s less of that. Perhaps even the hand holding has stopped when you go out in public, let alone the intimacy in the bedroom.
Kissing, hugging, holding hands, cuddling or having sex might just sound like your physical needs but these actions build the bond in a relationship. It is though these cats of intimacy that you get bonded even emotionally.
When you start doing less of it, you eventually lose the spark in the relationship and that’s when things start going south.
Related: Signs he likes you but is playing it cool
He Doesn’t Seem To Care About Your Whereabouts
We don’t mean that your boyfriend was a possessive boyfriend before but at least you used to share the details about where you’re going and who you’re with when you were apart from each other. But now he doesn’t seem to care where you go or whom you hang out with.
He doesn’t care what’s going on with you and what you do. So much so, it has become like you’re living with a roommate that’s not really your friend. If you find yourself in such a situation, perhaps it’s time to start reevaluating the status of your relationship and find out what’s the cause of it.
You Feel Like You’re Alone In The Relationship
Even if the both of you hardly spend time apart, you increasingly start to feel like you’re alone in the relationship. There’s no connection emotionally even though you’re physically together. There might also be a lack of support in the things you do or want to do. You might even start feeling like your boyfriend does not support you in your time of need.
See also: How do I tell if he loves me
He Doesn’t Talk About The Future With You
One of the biggest telltale signs about a relationship that’s almost in ruins is how much partners don’t talk about the future of the relationship.
What used to be idyllic times spend talking about starting a family, buying a house and getting married are now just awkward silences between the two of you that you can’t seem to fill no matter how hard you try.
Even if you try and bring it up, he starts to dodge your questions and would perhaps even get annoyed at you for asking these kinds of questions. It might be due to some stress but it could also mean that he doesn’t see a future with you because he has lost his interest in the relationship.
It Feels Like You’re Having Forced Conversations
Even when you two do get the time to spend time alone, it doesn’t feel natural. You feel as though you’re forcing your boyfriend to hang out with you or stay up the night and talk when all he wants to do is play games or be on his phone.
Before you might have spent your nights staying up late and talking about everything under the sun but now there seems to be no topic that piques his interest no matter how hard you try.
They Always Seem To Be In A Bad Mood
Although it’s normal to feel annoyance from your partner in a relationship, if this moodiness is prevent throughout the relationship, it could be a sign that there’s trouble brewing deep down. It’s true how people who spend a lot of time together tend to emulate each others’ emotions and negative emotions are far more contagious.
So if your partner is in a bad mood, you also tend to be in a bad mood. He might be annoyed at the most insignificant things you do or say just because he’s looking for a way out of the relationship. It sounds harsh but small annoyances often lead to a bigger fight and the deeper conversation that was left unsaid turns into an ugly fight.
What Can You Do To Save The Relationship?
If any of the above points ring true to your current situation and you want to do something about it, the best thing to do is talk about your feelings with your partner. Be honest and open with this conversation but make sure you mentally prepare yourself for the worst outcome.
You might not be expecting the conversation that follows and that could catch you off guard. So if you’re sure there’s something bothering your boyfriend and you want to get to the bottom of it, it’s best to dive into this conversation slowly, yet all the way.
Walking Away is an Acceptable Result
On the other hand, if you also don’t see potential in the relationship or think of your current relationship as something long term and feasible, it’s okay to let go. However, it is best to be mature about the situation and let him know how he’s making you feel.
Perhaps he might have an explanation but if you feel like you cannot force yourself to be happy in such a relationship even if it’s just a phase, know that it’s not wrong to walk away.
Although it takes time to build a relationship and it requires conscious effort from both ends to make it work, a relationship is never worth losing yourself. If you feel like you cannot recognize who you are when you’re with this person, perhaps he is not the one for you.
You cannot live your life wondering if you’ll be enough or if you’re the problem. So before you dig a deeper grave, it’s best to make the decision to spend some time apart. Maybe you’ll eventually find your way back to each other but turning your focus on things other than the relationship can open your eyes to life changing perspectives.
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Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.
