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30 Signs Your Boyfriend Might Be Gay (YIKES!)

A reader actually sent me an email the other night. It had a long story about her last relationship. And then she got into a situation that I thought was key to cover. She had asked me, “Well, how can I tell if there are signs that he might be curious?” Well, here are some signs that your boyfriend might be gay.

Before we dig into it, from my own experience…

I’ve had friends who have turned from straight to bi-sexual and then to gay. And what I can say is, there’s usually some pretty strong signs. If you’re feeling like something might true—then it probably is. And if any of the signs that I mention below are happening… Maybe it’s time to rethink the relationship.

Trust your gut! That’s my advice!

Subtle sign he’s interested in guys…

—Signs your boyfriend might be gay

  1. He’s never really looking at other women.
  2. There’s no chance that he’s checking women out on Instagram.
  3. You’ll never hear him say how beautiful other women are (even politely).
  4. You don’t ever have to tell him to stop staring at your “parts.”
  5. There’s never a moment when he texts you saying that he’s feeling randy!
  6. You don’t really ever feel like he’d cheat on you (in a bad way).
  7. You’re always having to tell him to get a little frisky!
  8. You’ve never seen posters or anything else that shows he’s interested in women.
  9. His activities aren’t very manly.
  10. Generally, his interests don’t align with masculine things.

Related: Signs of bisexuality in men

Emotional signs he’s interested in guys…

—Signs your boyfriend might be gay

  1. You’ll see him be very emotional for no reason.
  2. There’s a draw toward him wanting to be in conflict with you.
  3. He has friends who are bi or identify is LGBT.
  4. You’ll notice that he’s into watching TV shows or movies that are more for women.
  5. He’s drawn toward celebrities who identify as gay.
  6. There’s nothing that he’s hiding from you (sometimes, a little secret is okay).
  7. You don’t get that vibe that he’s masculine.
  8. He’s not ever wanting to have body hair or things like that.
  9. You’ve never seen him get dirty of be “stinky.”
  10. Classic “boy stuff” just isn’t things that he does with himself.

Pro tip: LGBT identification is up to about 7.1% in the United States. That’s a lot! If you’re experiencing some strong signs, then trust your gut!

Intimate signs he’s interested in guys…

—Signs your boyfriend might be gay

  1. You never have to “peel him off of you.”
  2. There’s never a time when he’s just ran up to you and kissed you.
  3. There was never any jokes about wanting to do “hanky panky” stuff.
  4. There’s a particular act that he wants to do with you (you know what it is).
  5. You’ll never catch him looking up pictures of hot women.
  6. You’ve never experienced him just wanting to get a little “rude” in the bedroom.
  7. There’s never a moment when you thought, “Dang, you have a lot of testosterone!”
  8. It’s always about you having to make the first move.
  9. There’s long periods where you guys don’t do it.
  10. You feel like he’s more interested in hanging out with his guy friends.

Conclusion—signs he’s gay!

Alright, there you have it. Some very easy signs to look for. If one or multiple of these things are happening—it might be time to take a look at the person you’re with. Or try to get the advice of someone that you care about.

Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

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