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Thought-Provoking Questions for Couples

Looking for thought-provoking questions for couples?

Thought-provoking questions are a great way to spark intellectual discussion. It’s a fantastic way to connect while getting to know the other person. If you’re already a couple, asking a few of these questions is a great way to stay connected.

And you might be surprised to learn that there’s something about the other person you didn’t previously know!

Thought provoking questions for couples
Thought provoking questions for couples

My experience asking relationship-building questions (of any kind)…

Before digging in… I’ve had a lot of experiences asking questions to build relationships. Whether it’s with family, friends, a guy/girl, or a coworker. Here are my top tips for asking questions of ANY kind.

  • Remember a few that you like – Keep a couple of great questions in your back pocket. My favorite, “Where’s somewhere you want to go this weekend?”
  • Don’t forget these as a tool – Whenever there’s a dull moment, whether you’re with a spouse or family… pull out a few of these questions.
  • Don’t take it too seriously – Especially when it comes to spouses. This isn’t a time to start digging! Have fun, make it silly, and don’t take it all too seriously.

Common deep-thinking questions for couples

—Thought-provoking questions for couples to ask

If you want to start a deep conversation with your loved one, try one of these common questions that will spark something exciting.

  1. Who was your first celebrity crush when you were growing up?
  2. What’s the most embarrassing fashion moment of your life?
  3. Would you rather live in hot weather forever or continue to have seasons?
  4. Do you like going on vacation to places where there is only hot weather, or do you like cold weather destinations too?
  5. Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
  6. What’s the perfect date night look like now?
  7. Do you have a celebrity crush today? Who is it?
  8. What’s something that’s on your bucket list that you didn’t tell me about?
  9. What was your favorite school subject growing up?
  10. Do you follow any pop culture news? If so, which news are you currently following?
  11. What’s something about your everyday life that you’re very happy with?
  12. What would be a deal breaker if you returned to the dating world?
  13. Would you rather have only morning sex for the rest of your life or only nighttime lovin’?
  14. Would you have ever considered long-distance relationships?
  15. What would be your new dream vacation that you’d want to go on?
  16. What’s the best quality of our relationship that you value?
  17. What would it look like if you were to get into a brand new relationship today?
  18. Who was your first heartbreak, and what did you learn from it?

Related: Thought-provoking questions

Thought provoking questions for couples
Thought provoking questions for couples

Best questions for couples

—Thought-provoking questions couples should be asking.

If you’re looking to start a unique conversation with your loved one, try one these great questions:

  1. Do you have a favorite location you’d like to show me someday?
  2. Do you think that everything occurs for a purpose?
  3. Who is your favorite on-screen couple?
  4. Is the prospect of being caught having sex exciting to you?
  5. Which would you choose to be, a phenomenal dancer or a phenomenal singer?
  6. Do you keep a wish list?
  7. How can you calm yourself down when you’re upset or angry?
  8. Which of us is more likely to feel jealousy?
  9. What do you find most attractive about me?
  10. Do you intend to have children? How many?
  11. Which subject did you enjoy the most in school?
  12. What relationship-related notion did you once hold but no longer do?
  13. What would you want most if you could have anything in the world?
  14. Which fantasy world would you choose to be with me?
  15. Which do you value more: the things you can buy with money, or the money itself?
  16. Have you ever given up on friendships over relationships?
  17. Do you like to spend time with me?
  18. Is sex significant to you in our relationship? How important is sex to you?
  19. Do you want our relationship to develop further? To pursue interests and learn new things together?
  20. What do you consider to be your best attribute? Do you approve of that?
Thought provoking questions for couples
Thought provoking questions for couples

Deep thought-provoking questions for couples

  1. What two adjectives would you use to sum up my temper?
  2. When did I start loving you, in your opinion?
  3. What do I enjoy doing the most?
  4. What could possibly go wrong with our relationship?
  5. How much do you think having children will affect our relationship?
  6. How can we maintain our love for one another even as we age?
  7. Do you know why we fight so much?
  8. What distinguishes us most from other couples?
  9. What is the best way that you see us resolving our conflicts?
  10. What day in our relationship would you say was ideal?
  11. Are you comfortable with us as a couple?
  12. How would you describe our first meeting?
  13. What do you consider to be your love language?
  14. What words would you use to characterize our private moments?
  15. Is there someone who makes you jealous or insecure?
  16. What is the longest period you can stand us being apart?
  17. What sacrifices do you believe you’ve made on our behalf?
  18. Will you be able to handle us maintaining a long-distance relationship for at least a year?
  19. What obligations do you believe I have failed in?
  20. What are the things in this relationship that you won’t compromise on?
Thought provoking questions for couples
Thought provoking questions for couples

Unique thought-provoking questions for couples

  1. Which would you choose: a werewolf or a vampire?
  2. What food would you choose if you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life?
  3. Where would you go if you could travel anywhere in the world?
  4. What is the one thing you are most thankful for in your life?
  5. In what location would you like us to have sex, but we haven’t yet?
  6. Can you recall a time when you grew impatient with me?
  7. When we fight, do you listen to me empathically and try to understand my point of view?
  8. What about our communication makes you feel heard and understood?
  9. Do you find it challenging to be open with me and discuss things?
  10. What aspect of our spiritual connection do you feel is strongest?
  11. Which three of my physical affectionate gestures do you genuinely love about me and wish I would do more?
  12. What is a challenge you have faced all your life?
  13. What if I changed my religious beliefs? What would you do?
  14. What mood would you like to create in our house?
  15. What would your ideal job entail?
  16. Do you find it challenging to put all of your faith in me?
  17. When did our relationship reach its pinnacle and its nadir?
  18. What is a life question you wish you knew the solution to?
  19. What is one thing you love about me that you found out after we married?
  20. Which TV character would you kill if you could?
  21. What holiday would you create if you could, and what activities would you include?
  22. If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
  23. What one item that is currently legal would you like to make illegal?
  24. Which fictional character do you wish existed?

Expert advice: Relationships play a critical role in our well-being. In fact, studies by Mercedes Gómez-López, Carmen Viejo, and Rosario Ortega-Ruiz suggest that early childhood lifestyle and upbringing can create significant ambiguity in relationships. Continuing to ask questions and learn about our partners is a great way to offset these potential triggers.

Fun thought-provoking questions for couples

  1. Have you ever pretended to have an orgasm—perhaps not with me specifically, but in general?
  2. A street fight or hiring a thug—which would you prefer?
  3. What would the title of your book be if it were about our sex life?
  4. When did you last have dreams about me?
  5. What do you think makes the ideal anniversary present?
  6. What sort of wedding would you like?
  7. What locations would you like to travel to with me?
  8. Which would you prefer: the ability to communicate with animals or the ability to speak in any language?
  9. Which era would you go back to if you had a time machine?
  10. What questions would you ask an alien if you could speak with them?
  11. What would your rap name be, if you were one?
  12. What powers would you have if you were a superhero, and who would be your sidekick?
  13. Which animal species do you think you would get along with the best and the worst if they could communicate?
  14. If you were elected president, what would you do first?
  15. What is the most expensive item you would purchase if you won the lottery?
  16. What song would serve as the background music to your life?
  17. What are the three things I always tell you?
  18. Have you ever mistakenly sent someone an email or text message?
  19. If given the chance to streak at a football game, would you do it for a million dollars?
  20. Which famous person would you sleep with if you were given a free pass?
  21. Who is most likely to binge-watch Netflix all day?
  22. Who is the most stubborn?

Funny thought-provoking questions for couples

  1. Which outfit have you ever worn that was the most embarrassing?
  2. What is the best joke ever?
  3. Which of your dreams made you laugh the most?
  4. What is the strangest thing you have searched for on Google in the last week?
  5. Which celebrity would you want to be if you could be one for the day?
  6. Have you ever been so terrified that you had to pee?
  7. Which renowned person, whether alive or dead, would you choose to go cross-country with?
  8. Would you perform sexual acts for $100?
  9. How many slices of pizza can you have at one time?
  10. What are the three objects and the three individuals you would get along with if you were stranded on an island?
  11. What would you like for your last supper if today were your last day?
  12. Would you commit theft if you knew you wouldn’t be caught?
  13. Which is more difficult to quit: coffee or alcohol?
  14. Have you experienced a kiss from the same sex?
  15. How many selfies do you take each day?
  16. What was the worst mistake you ever made?
  17. Which famous person do you believe you most resemble?
  18. Which of your past actions was the wildest?
  19. What was the stupidest thing you’ve ever done when you were drunk?
  20. What was the strangest place you’ve ever visited?
  21. What was the strangest item you ever ate?

Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

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