Looking for thought-provoking questions for couples?
Thought-provoking questions are a great way to spark intellectual discussion. It’s a fantastic way to connect while getting to know the other person. If you’re already a couple, asking a few of these questions is a great way to stay connected.
And you might be surprised to learn that there’s something about the other person you didn’t previously know!
My experience asking relationship-building questions (of any kind)…
Before digging in… I’ve had a lot of experiences asking questions to build relationships. Whether it’s with family, friends, a guy/girl, or a coworker. Here are my top tips for asking questions of ANY kind.
- Remember a few that you like – Keep a couple of great questions in your back pocket. My favorite, “Where’s somewhere you want to go this weekend?”
- Don’t forget these as a tool – Whenever there’s a dull moment, whether you’re with a spouse or family… pull out a few of these questions.
- Don’t take it too seriously – Especially when it comes to spouses. This isn’t a time to start digging! Have fun, make it silly, and don’t take it all too seriously.
Common deep-thinking questions for couples
—Thought-provoking questions for couples to ask
If you want to start a deep conversation with your loved one, try one of these common questions that will spark something exciting.
- Who was your first celebrity crush when you were growing up?
- What’s the most embarrassing fashion moment of your life?
- Would you rather live in hot weather forever or continue to have seasons?
- Do you like going on vacation to places where there is only hot weather, or do you like cold weather destinations too?
- Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
- What’s the perfect date night look like now?
- Do you have a celebrity crush today? Who is it?
- What’s something that’s on your bucket list that you didn’t tell me about?
- What was your favorite school subject growing up?
- Do you follow any pop culture news? If so, which news are you currently following?
- What’s something about your everyday life that you’re very happy with?
- What would be a deal breaker if you returned to the dating world?
- Would you rather have only morning sex for the rest of your life or only nighttime lovin’?
- Would you have ever considered long-distance relationships?
- What would be your new dream vacation that you’d want to go on?
- What’s the best quality of our relationship that you value?
- What would it look like if you were to get into a brand new relationship today?
- Who was your first heartbreak, and what did you learn from it?
Related: Thought-provoking questions
Best questions for couples
—Thought-provoking questions couples should be asking.
If you’re looking to start a unique conversation with your loved one, try one these great questions:
- Do you have a favorite location you’d like to show me someday?
- Do you think that everything occurs for a purpose?
- Who is your favorite on-screen couple?
- Is the prospect of being caught having sex exciting to you?
- Which would you choose to be, a phenomenal dancer or a phenomenal singer?
- Do you keep a wish list?
- How can you calm yourself down when you’re upset or angry?
- Which of us is more likely to feel jealousy?
- What do you find most attractive about me?
- Do you intend to have children? How many?
- Which subject did you enjoy the most in school?
- What relationship-related notion did you once hold but no longer do?
- What would you want most if you could have anything in the world?
- Which fantasy world would you choose to be with me?
- Which do you value more: the things you can buy with money, or the money itself?
- Have you ever given up on friendships over relationships?
- Do you like to spend time with me?
- Is sex significant to you in our relationship? How important is sex to you?
- Do you want our relationship to develop further? To pursue interests and learn new things together?
- What do you consider to be your best attribute? Do you approve of that?
Deep thought-provoking questions for couples
- What two adjectives would you use to sum up my temper?
- When did I start loving you, in your opinion?
- What do I enjoy doing the most?
- What could possibly go wrong with our relationship?
- How much do you think having children will affect our relationship?
- How can we maintain our love for one another even as we age?
- Do you know why we fight so much?
- What distinguishes us most from other couples?
- What is the best way that you see us resolving our conflicts?
- What day in our relationship would you say was ideal?
- Are you comfortable with us as a couple?
- How would you describe our first meeting?
- What do you consider to be your love language?
- What words would you use to characterize our private moments?
- Is there someone who makes you jealous or insecure?
- What is the longest period you can stand us being apart?
- What sacrifices do you believe you’ve made on our behalf?
- Will you be able to handle us maintaining a long-distance relationship for at least a year?
- What obligations do you believe I have failed in?
- What are the things in this relationship that you won’t compromise on?
Unique thought-provoking questions for couples
- Which would you choose: a werewolf or a vampire?
- What food would you choose if you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life?
- Where would you go if you could travel anywhere in the world?
- What is the one thing you are most thankful for in your life?
- In what location would you like us to have sex, but we haven’t yet?
- Can you recall a time when you grew impatient with me?
- When we fight, do you listen to me empathically and try to understand my point of view?
- What about our communication makes you feel heard and understood?
- Do you find it challenging to be open with me and discuss things?
- What aspect of our spiritual connection do you feel is strongest?
- Which three of my physical affectionate gestures do you genuinely love about me and wish I would do more?
- What is a challenge you have faced all your life?
- What if I changed my religious beliefs? What would you do?
- What mood would you like to create in our house?
- What would your ideal job entail?
- Do you find it challenging to put all of your faith in me?
- When did our relationship reach its pinnacle and its nadir?
- What is a life question you wish you knew the solution to?
- What is one thing you love about me that you found out after we married?
- Which TV character would you kill if you could?
- What holiday would you create if you could, and what activities would you include?
- If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
- What one item that is currently legal would you like to make illegal?
- Which fictional character do you wish existed?
Expert advice: Relationships play a critical role in our well-being. In fact, studies by Mercedes Gómez-López, Carmen Viejo, and Rosario Ortega-Ruiz suggest that early childhood lifestyle and upbringing can create significant ambiguity in relationships. Continuing to ask questions and learn about our partners is a great way to offset these potential triggers.
Fun thought-provoking questions for couples
- Have you ever pretended to have an orgasm—perhaps not with me specifically, but in general?
- A street fight or hiring a thug—which would you prefer?
- What would the title of your book be if it were about our sex life?
- When did you last have dreams about me?
- What do you think makes the ideal anniversary present?
- What sort of wedding would you like?
- What locations would you like to travel to with me?
- Which would you prefer: the ability to communicate with animals or the ability to speak in any language?
- Which era would you go back to if you had a time machine?
- What questions would you ask an alien if you could speak with them?
- What would your rap name be, if you were one?
- What powers would you have if you were a superhero, and who would be your sidekick?
- Which animal species do you think you would get along with the best and the worst if they could communicate?
- If you were elected president, what would you do first?
- What is the most expensive item you would purchase if you won the lottery?
- What song would serve as the background music to your life?
- What are the three things I always tell you?
- Have you ever mistakenly sent someone an email or text message?
- If given the chance to streak at a football game, would you do it for a million dollars?
- Which famous person would you sleep with if you were given a free pass?
- Who is most likely to binge-watch Netflix all day?
- Who is the most stubborn?
Funny thought-provoking questions for couples
- Which outfit have you ever worn that was the most embarrassing?
- What is the best joke ever?
- Which of your dreams made you laugh the most?
- What is the strangest thing you have searched for on Google in the last week?
- Which celebrity would you want to be if you could be one for the day?
- Have you ever been so terrified that you had to pee?
- Which renowned person, whether alive or dead, would you choose to go cross-country with?
- Would you perform sexual acts for $100?
- How many slices of pizza can you have at one time?
- What are the three objects and the three individuals you would get along with if you were stranded on an island?
- What would you like for your last supper if today were your last day?
- Would you commit theft if you knew you wouldn’t be caught?
- Which is more difficult to quit: coffee or alcohol?
- Have you experienced a kiss from the same sex?
- How many selfies do you take each day?
- What was the worst mistake you ever made?
- Which famous person do you believe you most resemble?
- Which of your past actions was the wildest?
- What was the stupidest thing you’ve ever done when you were drunk?
- What was the strangest place you’ve ever visited?
- What was the strangest item you ever ate?
Inside this article
Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.
