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Topics to Talk About With a Girl

My friend James asked me a great question. He said, “Hey Ryan, what are topics to talk about with a girl if I want to get to know her a lot better?”

Starting small talk with a girl is a great way to get to know her better. But what interesting topics should you talk about? You want to start talking with her. But the question is, about what? Each topic below is a fun way to get a good conversation started with a girl you know, are interested in, or are already dating.

My experience talking with girls…

It’s better to know this… I didn’t have “GAME.” I was kind of a geek growing up… But I learned a couple of things that benefit me now. And here they are!

Firstly, talk to her about something she likes. Listening to a woman/girl is the best way to win their heart.

Second, be yourself. It’s never fun pretending. The real person who loves you will love you for your true geek! Don’t ever walk away from that.

Lastly, show your intent through effort. Talking to her, a small gift, whatever it is. Try! She’ll notice.

Best topics to talk about with her

—Topics to talk about with a girl when you’re stuck!

1. Life

You can ask her how her life is going. What her state of mind is? Make her feel comfortable when you’re talking to her.

2. Travel

You can talk about your travel destinations and know who’s a beach person or a mountain person.

3. Music

You can ask her about the music genres and what she likes about them. You can also discuss various artists.

4. Bucket list

Who knows, the bespectacled nerd talking to you has a wild and adventurous side to her!! It might be sky-diving, bungee jumping, rafting, or a dream visit to Siberia.

5. Favorite food

Most girls are foodies. You can talk about street food or the Keto she is following. We bet she can’t stop talking about this one.

6. Philosophy

Philosophical topics are always the best to kill time with your loved ones. You can openly share your opinion and listen to hers. It will help you get closer to each other.

7. Goals

It is important to have something serious in the discussion once in a while. It tells her that you are serious about your own life. Also, it will make her feel that you care for her.

8. Daily life

You can discuss what she did during the day. How things played out, and how she felt. On her happy days, she can’t stop telling you all about it. Even more so on her bad days.

9. Relationship

You can ask about her view on relationships. What a relationship means to her and how important it is to her. It may well broaden your perspectives.

10. Achievements

Not everyone is a big achiever. But we all do achieve something at the high school or university level. Appreciate her achievements no matter how highly you think of them. Being appreciated is something we all crave for.

11. Gossip

You can listen to her gossip and enjoy. Not as if you have a choice in this matter, even if you do not like to listen to long gossip. It would make her happy if you could add your two bits here and there. You can also share if you have something interesting to tell.

12. Most important lesson life taught her

You can ask her about the lessons which life has taught her until now. You can also learn from them and avoid similar mistakes in the future.

13. Reasons behind her ambitions

Something our ambitions and our profession doesn’t match. She might have taken up a profession only to fulfill her family’s dream. It would help if you asked about the reasons behind her dreams and her choices. It might be emotional and inspiring at the same time.

14. Interests

She will probably tell you this the very first time you meet her. But in case she does not, there is no harm in asking in later meetings. It could be reading, traveling, sports, adventure, etc.

15. Herself

This is a never-ending source of conversations, as you well know. Ask a conversation starter question to get the conversation flowing:

  • How many family members do you have?
  • What’s your dream job?
  • What are your pet peeves?
  • Are you a dog person or a cat person?
  • Do we have any mutual friends?

A simple conversation starter question can get a stimulating conversation flowing and potentially lead to deeper discussions.

Expert advice: Harvard researchers suggest asking basic questions like, “How are you?” Or, “What do you like to do?” won’t be sufficient in creating strong, long-lasting relationships. Instead, try the A.C.T method—which stands for authenticity, connection, topic/taste. Find mutual ground between the two of you and move past surface-level questions.

Interesting Topics to Talk About With a Girl

—Ideas and topics to talk about with a girl

1 . Her hobbies

Activities that she finds interesting can form a base for a talk with a girl. Her childhood hobbies may be different and can be an alternative starting point. Further, you can display your interest in her hobbies by asking her further questions about her interests.

2. Her likes and dislikes

If you are trying to have a long–term relationship with a girl, you need to know about her likes and dislikes. These likes and dislikes also help you in deciding on gifts for her. Before gifting her, it is better to know if she is a rose lover or a PlayStation lover. This is undoubtedly one of the best topics to discuss with a girl.

3. The kind of music she likes

Music strengthens the bond between people. Asking about her taste in music is a great way to pique her interest in the conversation. Knowing about her favorite music can help create a collaborative playlist together.

4. What her dream career is

Asking a girl about her dream career tells you more about the kind of values she abides by. Her dream can surprise you or inspire you. To show your support for her dream, you can question her further and dig deeper into what motivates her to work for her dream.

5. Who is her role model

Even though she might have answered this question several times, she still can’t get enough of talking about her role model. You can ask what traits of her role model she covets the most. Her role model doesn’t need to be a public figure. It might be her mother, father, sister, or teacher.

6. A book that changed her life

If she is into books, there is a book somewhere that has profoundly affected her. You can ask her how the book helped her or did it change her way of thinking. What lesson did she learn from the book, if any? If she recommends it strongly, it might be worthwhile to try it.

7. Her dream destination

Traveling is something which most of us like. You can ask her where she wants to travel and what fascinates her about that place. She might be a beach person, or she might turn out to be a hiker. Knowing more about her personality and her traveling preferences might help you.

8. Her favorite TV shows

Everybody watches TV, so this is a sure thing. Ask her about her favorite show, the show’s plot, who is her favorite character and why? You can go for it yourself if you need endless talking points in the future.

9. Her favorite childhood memories

Tread carefully with this one, though. That most people love their childhood does not mean some of us have not had a troubled childhood. But either way, asking about her childhood is a sure recipe for a long conversation. Just be sensitive to her emotions while doing so.

10. Friendship and her friends

Ask this only if you are prepared for many goofy stories about her friends and herself. A person’s friend circle speaks a lot about the person. You can ask her what she thinks of her close friends and what she looked for before in a friend.

11. Her favorite food

You can ask her what she liked in her childhood, the food which has become her current favorite. Or if she had to eat the same food her entire life, which would it be?

12. Connections with nature

You can ask her if she enjoys the company of trees, chirping birds, mountains, plateaus, waterfalls, etc. You may ask whether she enjoys meadows or valleys and about the places she has been to.

13. How would she spend a perfect day?

Her perfect day is probably something that she has already thought of. If not, it would be a fun mental exercise. Go through each part of the day and ask her about what would make a perfect morning, afternoon, and evening. Who knows, you might find a way into her perfect day!!

14. Finding purpose in life

This is a good topic if she is into a bit of spirituality. Purpose does not necessarily have to be a long-term purpose. You can ask her how she tries to find a purpose daily and what she does to achieve it.

15. Her biggest fear

The emotion of fear is a universal truth. Ask her about her biggest fears and how she deals with them. Fear sometimes gives you insights into someone’s inner world. If she shares her deep fears and vulnerabilities with you, she trusts you. Try not to break that trust.

Funny topics to talk about with a girl

—Ideas and topics to talk about with a girl

1. Her favorite cartoon

You can ask her about her favorite cartoon. And you can talk about the weather she finds it funny or simply interesting. You can also ask her which cartoon is very similar to hers.

2. If she was a vegetable, which would it be?

The question may sound weird, but it can be a fun topic to ponder.

3. What do you think you were in your past lives?

She might think of her past life as a bird, an animal, or even a fun toy. Her reply might surprise you or crack you up. Either way, this is a fun topic.

4. If you could pick a new name, what would it be?

It is probably very similar to her favorite movie star or character. But do not be so sure! Her logic behind the new name might be profound or simply funny.

5. How does our hair know when to stop growing?

If this sounds freakish, it is because it is. She will give a funny and unique answer if interested in the conversation. Or it just might be that she knows the scientific reason behind it, which you may not understand.

6. Would you want to look like a fish or smell like a fish?

We know this is weird, but what’s funny without weird?

7. How well do animals imitate humans? Could they act like humans in a movie?

If she is a Disney fan, she might love this. Or if she is an animal lover, talking about animals may be just what she likes.

8. If she gets a chance to rob something, what would it be?

It could be a limousine. It could be a cool gadget. Or it could be Jennifer Lawrence’s looks!

9. What would she do if she gets magical powers?

This is an off-beat one among topics to talk about with a girl. The question may take her into her world of fantasies, where she might think of doing things beyond her imagination. These replies may be surprising and funny at the same time.

10. Which animal would she choose to be?

This is something that we have all given a thought to. Depending on her looks and interests, she’ll likely come up with an animal, and the conversation will get funny.

11. Anything that she is embarrassed to admit because she enjoys it?

You can further ask her the reason for the same, and you will find it extremely funny. This will help in keeping the conversation light yet interesting.

12. Her fears

Though this might not be very funny for her, you will have fun listening to her answers. The answer could be cockroaches, lizards, darkness, etc. Or if it was a movie scene that made her night terrible.

13. Her relationship with her siblings

We know how siblings treat each other when they’re young. If she’s comfortable talking to you, she’ll tell you all those billion-dollar funny incidents she clearly remembers even after many years.

14. Funniest moments in life

We all have funny moments almost every day. It could be with our classmates, colleagues, siblings, or anyone else. It will also help you know more about her social circle and the environment she grew up in.

15. How would she want to irritate someone she doesn’t like?

This may bring up a whole world of funny ideas from her side. You will see all her creativity in full bloom at this one.

Texting topics to talk about with a girl (or girlfriend)

—Ideas and topics to talk about with a girl

1. Her day

You can ask her about her day. If it was good, what made it good? If it was not that good, what were the reasons behind it? It will show her you care about her.

2. Ask her about her studies

How were the classes? Which class was her favorite? What were the topics? You can also help her out in subjects she is not good at. Or you could ask for her help with the topics you missed.

3. Love

Such topics are best discussed in person. But no harm in discussing them in text messages, either!

4. About her health

You can ask her simple health questions. Are you well/. What are your dietary routines? You can ask about her exercises and her gym routines. You can help her with some routines of your own.

5. You can compliment her

While a simple ‘you look beautiful’ might do, unique compliments are a definite yes. To pass on unique compliments, you must take care of every minute detail about her.

6. Ask her about her achievements

You can ask her about her achievements in her area of interest. You can take inspiration from the strategies which helped her achieve her goals.

7. Ask her about the small targets

There are small targets in everyone’s life. Asking about these daily targets shows that you are interested in the conversation and that you are in this for the long run.

8. Don’t forget the morning and night wishes

We know you probably hate this one. But trust us; this is important too. You can think out of the box and change the style of wishing every once in a while.

9. How does she usually spend her time on weekends?

You can ask her about her weekend routines. This can help you ascertain whether she is an introvert or an extrovert.

10. You can ask her about her meals.

Again this is something you would rather avoid. But this displays your care and affection for her.

11. You can ask about her family

When you ask about someone’s family, it indicates that you are trying to make a good bond with them.

12. You can have a texting debate

In a texting debate, you need to ensure that you are not rude. You can keep your arguments and their tone soft and, at the same time, respect her points.

13. You can talk about her pet

If she has a pet, you can talk about it. Even if she doesn’t have one, you can ask her if she would get a chance to keep a pet. Which animal would it be and why?

14. You can ask her about her favorite YouTuber

You can ask what she likes about her favorite YouTuber. And you can suggest to her your favorite ones who work on similar content.

15. Favorite coffee

If she is a coffee addict, you can ask her about her favorite one. You can also suggest to her some good coffees as per your taste.

Deep topics to talk about with a girl (or girlfriend)

—Ideas and topics to talk about with a girl

1 Talk about her

Talking to her late in the night about herself will never get old. You can tell her what you like about her, which will make her happy. You can ask her about her stresses and the reasons for them. Or you could ask her how her day went.

2. Future

You can ask her how she has imagined her dream future and how she plans to be there. It might inevitably involve a few incidents of the past which helped her shape her dream future.

3. Know her definitions of love and hate

It may sound common, but when you ask her, you will slowly discover how it relates to her experiences. You may ask her the reason for her definitions, which might be an entirely new world of ideas.

4. Her Deepest Fears

While some fears may be funny, some may be horrible and gut-wrenching. Say the fear of losing a close one. If you relate to her fear, it will make for a long and fruitful conversation.

5. Spirituality or Religion

This is an abstract kind of a topic that will surely go deep. You can discuss how religions over the world are the same or differ from each other and how spirituality is different from religion. You can discuss the relationship between religion and science.

6. Expectations

We all do have some expectations in life. Expectations from herself, her family, and her friends. Conversations about when someone did not live up to her expectations are interesting.

7. Secrets

There’s no living soul without a secret. If you understand each other well enough, you’ll be comfortable sharing your secrets. Indeed, you will feel much more secure in your relationship after this topic is over.

8. Your feelings

You can talk about your feelings for each other, or towards any particular person, and the reasons for the same.

9. How are you going to achieve your goals?

Our goals drive us forward in life. Her goals might be way different from yours. She has her own set of strengths and weaknesses, which will help her get there. You can also share your ideas and opinions which will make her feel you are interested in her goals.

10. Her struggles

Everyone walks their own path. So when you talk to her about her struggles, keep an open mind. You might come to know how strong she is, and who knows, her struggles might inspire you.

11. Modern life vs traditional life

Most of us like to have a modern lifestyle, living in a world of pop culture, late-night parties, and vacations. But she could be someone who longs for something else. In such cases, you’ll have a deep insight into her psyche.

12. Balance between family and career

It’s not uncommon for fathers to take care of the children while the mother works. However, there are times when it might just be a little hard to balance family and career. You can share your opinions and also talk about your priorities.

13. Life as a child

Everyone misses childhood once they come out of it. She’ll feel more comfortable and connected with you once she has told you about her childhood.

14. Her meaning of life

Such philosophical topics have a vast meaning and can be perceived differently by different people. So when two new people talk about it, things will likely get deeper.

15. Regrets

She could tell you about the things she regrets and the reasons for them. You can help her overcome them if possible, or you can also share yours.

16. Geopolitics

It’s an off-beat topic to talk to a girl about. But in today’s times, when so much is happening worldwide, this can not be ruled out.

Emotional topics to talk about with a girlfriend

—Ideas and topics to talk about with a girl

1. You can ask her about what makes her happy

As she tells you what makes her happy, she will enjoy living the moment in her mind.

2. Things that make her worry

You need to know the things which make her worry so you don’t do any of them.

3. What gets her excited?

You can ask her what excites her more than anything else. It could be going to her favorite restaurant, a vacation, or a sports car. It could also be meeting her grandma on Saturdays.

4. How does she manage to remain calm?

You can ask her what she does to calm her mind or which things calm her instantly.

5. Sadness

A part of her past still gives her the same sadness. How she dealt with the aftermath, and are there some lingering regrets?

6. Satisfaction

Now, this could be a job well done at work, or it might mean more to her. It could mean a moment of inner fulfillment that reaches her soul.

7. Pain

You can ask about her most painful incident. It may be internal or external. You can tell her how it’s all a part of life and that it happens to almost everyone.

8. Joy

You should ask the reason for her joy. What makes her happy? Why does it make her happy?

9. What makes her angry?

She might remember an odd incident that makes her angry just thinking about it. It could well be a colleague. It could be when her mother lectures her. Also, you can advise her on ways to deal with the anger.

10. What makes her feel guilty?

Guilt is the actual realization of a mistake. You can ask her when and how she felt guilty about something. What was her mistake, when did she realize and how did she compensate for it?

11. About her past relationships

It brings honesty into a relationship when you can talk about past relationships without getting worked up. Don’t press her too much if she does not want to talk about it.

12. Her passion

Not everyone asks about their passions. You can stand apart from the crowd by asking her about it. These passions may sometimes be attached to her old memories.

13. About her failures

Behind every thriving destination, there are multiple pit-stops of failure. You can ask her about the most significant failure she faced in life. You could try and help her come out of it as well.

14. TV Shows she is emotionally connected to

There is always that story that has hit an internal chord. Or other stories which are heart-melting.

15. Memories

Her recollection from when she was little is something she remembers vividly. You can ask her about the memories of her golden age, which are attached to her emotions.

Even more things you might want to talk about

If you want even more to talk about!!! Just a few ideas if the above didn’t spark your interest! All you have to do is ask a few of these personal questions and see if the conversation gets going. While a conversation topic, like the ones above, are best… Sometimes a few questions do the trick!

  • What does your free time look like?
  • What are some interesting things you do with your family?
  • How would your friends describe you?
  • Who are your most favorite human beings?
  • Do you have any furry friends?
  • What are your favorite movies?
  • Do you have really good personality traits that you’re proud of? Or worst personality traits?
  • What makes you feel excited when you wake up in the morning?
  • Do you have any guilty pleasures?
  • When do you feel appreciated by other people the most?
  • Could you tell me the last time you could feel embarrassed about being yourself?

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Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.

About the author

Ryan Sanderson (LCSW) Ryan is a game and relationship enthusiast who enjoys all things quizzes, games, fun, love, relationships, and family. He's a licensed social worker and helps families, couples, and children in need. He's spoken about love and relationships on Salon.com, Forbes, and Mirror, to name a few.

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