My friend Samantha is always asking questions about texting and communication. The other night she prompted me with this good one… “Hey Ryan, what does it mean when a girl says heyyy? Why do guys get upset when they read that?” Well, I wouldn’t say guys get upset! But they certainly don’t know how to respond.
Texting is a pretty terrible form of communication. Multiple studies have shown this to be true. The problem with texting is that there’s no way to really tell what someone is intending to say through their emotional infliction. For example, the tone of their voice. Tone is a really important factor in communication.
And when you add in the inability to see body language (a key factor in active listening)—there’s quite a bit that could go wrong!
What Does It Mean When a Girl Says Heyyy?
In reality, there’s only a few things that a girl could be trying to say when she uses this over text message.
Let’s take an example message to start:
Guy: Hey Sarah, what’s up!?
Girl: Heyyy
There’s nothing wrong with this response. In fact, based on this—it could mean she’s excited or surprised that she received a text message from the guy! But are there other reasons? Lets take a look at what this could mean!
1: She’s just truly excited to hear from you
The first reason for the response could be excitement! If she’s feeling excited, then it’s a strong sign that she’s really interested in you. It’s unlikely that you’ll get this type of text message response from someone who you aren’t dating.
If you do, then it could be a sign of a dry text (yikes!). These are messages that show a type of passive aggression to the other person when facial expressions can’t get used.
Related: Conversation starters to use
2: There’s actually not a whole lot of excitement
Sometimes, the word ‘heyyy’ can indicate that someone is giving you a type of cringe face. This is when they are puckered up and their eyes are tilted toward a particular direction and they’re having that type of “stand off” body language.
In this case—it might be that the person you’re texting with isn’t very happy with you at that moment. If that’s the case, you should ask why/if they aren’t happy with you. The key to knowing whether this is the situation is to examine how often this type of message occurs.
Does she frequently say ‘heyyy’ or is this one time that you’ve never heard it? Use your best judgment from there!
3: Maybe she’s having a not so great day
A ‘heyyy’ can also indicate a type of sadness. Think of the person as having a sad face. They’re somewhat moping or feeling down. It’s going to be hard to tell whether or not the girl you’re texting with is feeling this way.
The only way to determine what’s actually happening is if you continue to the conversation. Asking them how their day was. Or asking them about their plans for the week/day/month. From there, you’ll be able to circle back and get a better idea of the tone of voice and infliction in their messages.
See also: Conversation starters for teens
4: There’s an attempt to be flirtatious
The most common case is a girl trying to be flirtatious. Don’t ask me why! But girls sometimes think that saying ‘heyyy’ sounds playful. And by sounding playful—they are intending for you to feel like you can engage with them.
From here, it’s showing a little bit of excitement, but also a little bit of ‘unsure.’ You’ll need to try to flirt right back with them and see where that takes you.
How to Respond to a Girl that Says ‘Heyyy’ via Text Message
Let’s presume that the conversation has started like the following:
Guy: Sarah! Hey, how are you? What are you doing?
Girl: Heyyy!
Guy: How was your week?
Girl: It was good.
OK—let’s stop right here. If the girl isn’t asking you a question back—after you’ve asked her… Then it might be a sign that she’s actually trying to be a little “stand off” with you.
In this case, your mind should be going toward one of the following:
- She’s potentially upset with you.
- There’s no excitement in talking to you.
- Potentially—there’s no interest in continuing a long conversation with you.
Generally, you’ll want the girl you’re texting with to engage with you and text back. Meaning—ask you questions when you ask her some!
How to properly respond to her
The best way to respond to this message is to simply KEEP TALKING! The only way you’re going to tell what type of mood she’s in is by asking or by inquiring through questioning.
Think of a few conversation starter questions to use. If she doesn’t respond to one of those questions quickly and with enthusiasm—then there might be something going on.
Does it mean she’s not interested in you? Maybe… Only time will tell. Another great thing you can do is to simply call her! Texting is sometimes a poor choice of communication, no matter what the conversation!
My Own Experience—When a Girl Says Heyyy!
I’m a guy… And one that’s been in a lot of relationships, sadly! Here’s what I can say… Usually, then I see this type of text message, I think of someone who isn’t totally mature yet. I think of someone who is on social media a lot and is influenced by memes.
For me, that’s a pretty big turn off. But it’s because of where I am at this stage of my life. I’m in my 30’s and I’m looking for someone who is very mature! If you’re a teenager or someone who is younger—you’re probably not going to care very much about that right now.
But generally, I’m looking for a positive and enthusiastic response from a girl when I ask her questions. And show her that I’m interested. This short response could point toward the opposite!
Inside this article
Fact checked:
Board reviewed by Marianne Tomlinson, LCSW (Couples and Family Therapy). Content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Learn more.
